the cupboard said to me

The cupboard was left unclosed and i don't understand why that always bothers me but it does and i don't understand why i always leave it open the first place but i do and will have to go ahead and shut it much later when i bother.

Today must be a special day for the cupboard to finally speak up though we did not converse at all on the left open or close issue and now i am a bit awkward about going to close it now that it spoke finally.

What the cupboard said to me?
Do you want to know what the cupboard said to me?
or will it be too imposing to just ask those questions and give you the answer.

Well if you want to know, you can read on, if not, go about your own business that you were going to go about if i had ended this writing here.

The cupboard said to me,
hello, the poster you stuck on my inside of bart simpson is going to fall off.

and I said,
oh okay. thanks.
and promptly tried to fix bart back to his place.

and the cupboard replied,
sure, no problem.

that's all.
do you like the story better that you had a choice?

(sneak)

想你 12

今天 我记得想你了。
可能 明天 我会忘记，
可是 今天 我记得想你了，
你知道了吗？

Sometimes, I rest my forehead

Sometimes, I rest my forehead against my open palms to hold in the noise inside my mind from ripping my skull apart it is getting harder and harder i bite my teeth tightly to be stronger and stronger i want to cry to let out some tension some strain but my tear system isn't working i imagine i slit open my face to find out what's wrong i start from my forehead because the flesh is quite thin should be easy but i realise it's mad i'm going crazy so i suddenly realise i suddenly wish for someone to do it for me!

I suddenly wish for somebody to slice open my back neatly and gently remove my spine. It will be great to start from the neck somewhere below my brain just at the top of my neck and just stab a clean knife on the right side of the bones we must try to locate first of course. Stab! Then remove the knife, then stab! into the left side. careful the knife not to come out from infront or it won't be as pretty as if it didn't.
Debone me!
Stab! Swish. Slice. Slice. Swish!

Oh. I suddenly want to scratch myself hard, to tear open my skin. It will feel nice to do it myself on the hand it is not so mad i will pretend. I will pretend I have a mosquito bite on the back of my hand. I will scratch with my nails. I will scratch my left hand with my right hand, and tear open my skin. bloody messy tear.

Oh. I suddenly want to slit neat lines down the flesh of my fingers on the back of my hand and I can have my bones crawl out bloodily. The somebody who defleshed my spine can deflesh my other hand.

I suddenly feel trapped within myself, I want to come out.
I've tried screaming, and it doesn't work at all.
Deflesh all of me! I want to come out. I want to come out.
Lay my skeleton in a field under the hot sun or toast me in a giant microwave oven.
So that my brains and everything beneath the bones will die and melt or explode and I will forget everything there is to remember.

I am sure I will be free.
I am sure I will be free.

想你 11

我可以对你说一百件事情，
一百件也许你会想知道 或对你有关的事情，
可是我真的不想
把一切说得太明白。

这一百件事情像树上的最后一百片叶子，
随时间而枯，
随轻风而落。

清风吹时，
树枝静静摇摆，
树上的剩叶 一片 一片
悄悄坠落，
地上的落叶发出“沙沙”声。。。

把一切说得太明白，
那就连枯枝落叶也没有得有了。

我们之间
就会多一百些单调，
就会少一百些想你的空间。

Too Perfect

Too perfect is less perfect than the perfect because the too perfect is more perfect than the perfect and the perfect is perfect.
So, ironically, too perfect is not too perfect really.

Worse

Worse possible scenarios can be worse than worst possible scenarios because the worse can get worse and the worst cannot.
So, ironically, worst possible scenarios are not worst possible scenarios really.

Eric and his "ha ha"s

Eric is the only person I know who types "ha ha"s on chat, instead of "haha"s.
They disturbed me a little at first. That's probably how they sustained my attention.
"haha" is already a funny looking word,
but "ha ha" is ever more peculiar.

Note the space in between.

There is enough space for a world to fit in.

Do you know a lot of people who type "ha ha"s on chat?
He is the only person I know, I think.

If you do too, I'm a little sorry if I didn't think of you.

Reminder: The Jilted Lizard Loves Her

So, I was walking along, walking along in my dream, when I met a quite handsome young lizard. Confessedly, I'm not sure how handsome lizards look like, but I imagine that a handsome lizard would look quite like how this lizard looked like.

"Hello," I said, in a friendly manner, for it was not too often that I meet anyone in particular in dreams.

"Hi," he replied, dejectedly.

"What’s wrong?"

"The love of my life has left me for another."

Awkward silence.

"The love of my life has left me for another. Now I am all alone."

I squatted down beside him with quiet condolence.

"My life has lost all meaning for the love of my life is gone. She was all of my meaning and now I am empty."

He looked at me and heaved a sigh so deep that, I suspect, lizards can never ever heave a sigh nearly as deep if not for being in a dream.

"I heard you take pictures in dreams," without waiting for my concurrence, he requested, "Take a picture of me, to remind all the other lizards... and everyone out there, everybody. Everybody..."

I took out my camera and waited for him to finish his sentence.

Nothing. I hesitated then prompted, "...remind them that...?" A least offensive prompt, I thought.

"No…" He looked at the ground in front of him and he begun to wept,

"Remind them that I love her. And she is my everything. And she has left me. And I am nothing. Remind them that I love her. And that she has left me. And that I love her. And that my tiny heart has broken into one. million. pieces. I gave my heart to her... and when she hastily threw it back at me, when it fell to the ground forever, when it smashed into one million pieces forever... I love her still, with all of every single one of my one million pieces. I have one million hearts that love her, but she has left me. And I cannot forget my sorrow and I cannot confront myself and I cannot confront everything that I thought I knew that I thought I was my courage is broken my spirit is broken my love has left me..."

He looked up from the ground, and sighed again at the sun,

"Remind them that I am a jilted lizard.
And that I love her."

With that, he stood up. He looked to the right of the road. He asked me for the time.
I didn’t have it.
He said nevermind.
He rubbed his face with the back of his left wrist. He walked straight ahead and away from me.

Perhaps, I was a little disoriented with his emotions. I forgot to take a picture of him. Instead, I was looking at his solitary figure... wondering what would be the right thing to say...

A shiny black car zoomed by to run him over.

想你 10

如果有一天 我睡醒过来
就不再这样地淡淡想念着你
将会是怎么样的感觉?

那时的我 是怎么样的一个我？

那时的你 会不会感到任何差别？
你会不会知道？

我会不会想念 这样想你的我？
我会不会想念 这种细细的伤心， 这种微微的心痛,
这种淡淡的想念？

那时的我们就是变了吧.
那时的你 会离我更遥远.
可能就是远到让我想想你也想不到.

July

July is like the Wednesday of the entire year.
After July, it's all down hill, baby.

Thursday is August and September.
October is Friday!
Saturday is November.
December is Sunday.

Monday is January, February, March.
Tuesday is April, August, June. June is like Tuesday night.

I think we should celebrate July 1sts.
Because Wednesday mornings are worth celebrating.
And July 1st is like, half year. So saying, happy July 1st! is like saying, Happy New Half Year!
That makes June 30th, New Half Year Eve.

I probably should have thought of this earlier,
I probably should have told you this earlier,
so we could have celebrated this year's July 1st together.

We could have waited up, on June 30th night, for July 1st.

Like a private joke you know.
Like we're cheating on them.
When the rest of the world feels the unreasonable sense of relief every January 1st, we can feel another unreasonable sense of relief on July 1st!
Behind
Their
Backs.
HAPPY NEW HALF YEAR!
Or in their faces,
HAPPY NEW HALF YEAR!
for that matter.