The Shit King Report

Name: Shit King, The. A.k.a. Ken, A.k.a. Shit Prince, The.
Sex: Male.
Age: Unknown.
Place of Origin: Asia, or the Tropics, or Asian Tropics.
Physical Attributes: Shapeshifter, but usually appears as a tall, fair, skinny, Chinese.
Other Attributes: Reportedly very "down to earth" despite illustrious career, odd-tempered.
Basic description: Ken, as he is better known as, controls your whims to shit. It is understood that he harvest the thoughts of wanting to shit. These thoughts are valuable for trading as they are usually very intense, focused and self absorbed. It is also understood that he harvests the shit eventually although it is unsure what he does with them.
His primary responsibilities are to maintain the shit balance of the world, i.e. the breaking down, the production of shit, and so on. He is a therefore a severely important figure, for the amount of shit in the world has to be delicately maintained. (Just imagine the dire consequences of his mismanagement.)
Important Affliations:
1) Time. The Shit King has a mysterious relationship with time (as all Secret Monster Kings/Queens do, but the Shit King's is regarded as very special). It is such that a legend exists amongs the secret kingdoms that the Shit King and Time have an ageless pact. This effect/pact is the reason why 1) Time crawls when one needs to shit but not yet have the suitable facilities. 2) Time feels both fast and slow, or neither fast nor slow, for the shitter when he shits. In other words, when one is shitting, he is much removed of the sense of time passing.
2) Panic Kingdom. Another notable affliation is that the Shit King is good friends with the Panic King. Some reports that they were once brothers, but the evidences are lost to time, so nobody knows for sure anymore. However, it is well understood that the Shit King and the Panic King are very close, and that probably accounts for why one feels like shitting when they panic.
3) Flies. Being very secretive creatures, it is relatively unknown still what they really do other than being spies, and occasionally instigating diarrhoea. (There is however, an interesting history regarding how Flies came to join the Shit King. Approval to publish is still pending.)
4) Birds. Birds are loyal subjects to the Shit King.
In case of meeting the Shit King:
1) You will probably want to shit.
2) Go shit.
Possible repercussions of pissing off the Shit King: Bowel discomfort of any of the many sorts.

sleep less

I like to sleep.
But I don't sleep early.
Instead, I stay up to arrange music files on my computer.
I like to sleep.
But I don't sleep early.
Instead, I stay up to see what people say (if they say) to me.
I like to sleep.
But I don't sleep early. I don't know why.

I like to sleep.
But I won't sleep early. I don't know why.

time is all I have. or not have at all.

I wait for something interesting to happen.
I sit here in front of the computer, waiting for something interesting.
if i sleep early i may miss it and have to wait another day.

If you don't have enough sleep for long enough
it feels drunk.

but nothing happens.
until i give up.
and sleep too late
to sleep enough.

one day i will sleep my fill
away
from anybody
so i don't have to wait
and i won't have to sleep early
because i can sleep all day one day
and nobody can find me

or one day
something interesting
will happen
or one day i will fall sick

this is not what i hoped for
i am living in a dream
everything will disappear and reappear

almost everything.

See me

It'll be something
to find one day
a caterpillar under your skin.

A caterpillar
that is green
and maybe with red spots.
Not too long
but not short enough.

It must have been eating on your flesh
or feeding on the blue blood from the blue vein while it was on its way back to your heart.

It'll be worse though
to find one day
a caterpillar cocoon under your skin.

It is just unimaginable where will it fly after metamorphosis...

My elephant parade 2005

Let's.

He said,
"Let us not be too direct...
Let us beat around the bush."

(Okay, Terence.)

想你 5

我很想你。。。
(你想我吗？)

What will happen on Christmas?

"What will happen on Christmas?" She asked, nobody in particular.

A good question.
A valid question.
An unsuspecting, honest, difficult question.

I try to answer, but I only ended up asking if it matters what happened on Christmas.
I remember.

Still, I cannot know what will happen on Christmas.

So, I guess, I shall wonder along with her.

(for Pris. Happy Christmas to you.)

Then I blog.

Today I did a lot of work.
Then I went to visit my friends.
Then I went driving around and got lost.
But then I found my way, eventually, like always.
Then I had dinner.
With more of my friends.
Then some went to watch movie.
Then we had nothing to do (eventually, like always).
So we did nothing.
Then I drove around.
Then we did a bit more of nothing.
Then I came home.
Then I blog.

Pity

A pity is time lost.
A pity is an aspiration forgotten.
A pity is faith broken.

A pity is a spray of beautiful, beautiful blooms with a single little bud wilted.

I shall wait to watch a beautiful morning, and thereafter, a beautiful sunset.

I must be patient.

想你 4

偷看到你独自坐在那儿吃晚饭。
感到一股冲动。
我要陪你一下。

我独自的离开了。

我想我明白了
我们本来都是寂寞的。

当时的你看起来好像不太开心。
你有不愉快的事吗？

如果我们之间有差别，那也只不过是，
我有没有想你，你想不想我，
罢了。

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 7 (final instalment)

I am waiting for something else to believe in.

R.A.P. 2.2 - dead millipedes

"i bet you think i am shitting you but i'm not shitting you...
I AM GOING TO HELL because I am not a millipede."

R.A.P. 2 - The Song for Dead Millipedes

I kill so many millipedes, it's the worst. I probably killed more millipedes this morning than all the millipedes you've seen in your life plus together. i bet you think that i'm shitting you but i'm not shitting you cos it's so gross to walk here and there and see something brown and red that's floating along the floor and i bet you bet that it's quite funny, but it's not funny at all cos they are soooo ggggrrrooossssss. like blind little stubs and somemore so small that you have to look quite closely, then it's like shit, actually like birdshit that's brown and red, and can see their little legs moving in like little waves things that sends a damn of disgust down my spine like you know spiders only have eight legs and they are already so gross and imagine like this damn millipedes are MILLI - PEDES and it's just like too many too many....they are like little bits of shits on little legs joined together by how too many legs move together my goodness and the WORST is that they move quite fast but millipedes are damn gross lar, they're in a rush to don't know where also, its' the worst the worst the worst.......... so i have to kill them, because they are so gross and they move too fast. i can't ignore them, i have to chop them cos its' the easiest way to kill them and i seriously don't wnat to chop them cos i have to go near them, I really don't wnat to kill them cos like they got brown brown juice lor please it's the worrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssttt, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KILL THEM but it's the fastest way to kill them and i even more seriously rather them be dead than alive and i have to kill them. and so I am going to hell, because I kill so many millipedes. it's one of the worst reasons to go to hell for. but i can't not kill them. i cannot. I really cannot. I really RATHER NOT HAVE TO KILL THEM, but I really cannot because there are so many of them.

If there aren't so many of them I don't have to kill so many of them.
If there aren't so many of them I won't have to go to hell.

NOW, if I were a millipede, i won't have to kill so many of them, because i shouldn't be so grossed out and i can probably speak whatever it is that millipedes speak and tell them to get out of my face so taht i dont' have to be so grossed out and i don't have to to kill so many of them then i may not so definitely go to hell.

I AM GOING TO HELL because I am not a millipede.

September 17 2005 - 1

17 September 2005
2.20 am
Saturday Morning

Beach

When was the last time we went to the beach together?

(sneak.)

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 8

If I can go back in time, I cannot do anything differently.

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 5

Do you remember what you said to me before? Things that I let hurt me. Things that I let touch me. I do not know what it was all about. It happened and past me by. You must be sleeping by now. It is 2.49 am. Can you imagine that I am thinking about you? Maybe we know less than we think. There should be more to life than we obsess ourselves with.

面线、红鸡蛋

一年一次的一碗面线加上两个红鸡蛋让我感到一年的最温暖。

(sneak.)

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 3

I seem to remember a lot of things, you know. When I was a child, I loved rainy nights, because it will feel so cool and sleeping will be so comfortable and it will make me happy. When I was younger than now, I loved rainy nights, even though I would have to upturn window panes. Rainy nights have always been inspiring to me.On rainy nights, everything is muffled by the rain and everything is beyond the rain, like a curtain drawn, like I am hiding behind a waterfall, like nobody can find me.On rainy nights, everything is quiet, everything is silenced, and I am by myself.

Growing up

Growing up sucks.

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 6

What is it that we are looking for?

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 2

It is raining tonight. I must confess that the lightning and thunders scare me. I know that they will not hurt me but I am still afraid. It is difficult to understand why. I really do not wish that the world will be without lightning and thunders for I certainly like to watch from afar, a lightning lit night sky glow orange and purple and blue, like how I used to see from where I used to live, and how I used to write about the rusty flashy skies... Yet, as the flashes flash just outside my windows, I am afraid.

YAY!

Rational thought is overrated and underutilized.

Ask yourself, when was the last time you were ridiculous?
Didn't you enjoy yourself more when you were ridiculous than when you were rational?
Life is short, so live hard!
Be as ridiculous as you can be whenever you can be!

Drive everybody crazy! Demand your way! Spit in their faces! And then scream what you say!
Throw ice cream out of the window! Gross them out with the ants! Sue your neighbour for littering! And for stealing your pants!
Drink everybody's drink! If they protest, just glare! Splash what's left on their clothings! Vomit into their hair!

LIFE IS SHORT!
LIVE HARD! LIVE FREE!
BE HAPPY! BE RIDICULOUS!
STAB SOMEBODY IN THE EYE WITH A FORK TODAY! YAY!

The Regretfools

The Regretfuls regret to regret.
The regrets fool the regretfuls.
Don't let the regrets fool you,
or you will be a Regretful too.

The Regretfuls regret to regret.
The Regretfuls are regreting to be regreting.
Don't let the Regretfuls fool you,
or you will be a Regretfool too.

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 9.

When the rain stops tonight, the night goes on into day. I know I am very lucky.
Still, I will feel like running out into the night rain and…

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 4.

I seem to remember a lot of things, you know. I know I never want to grow up. Some people want to grow up. I never want that ever. I have my own ideas about life. Some people have other ideas about the meaning of being. I usually keep quiet. It is because I believe and I wish I do not. If you know me for long enough, you may remember me ever quoting “ignorance is merely the procrastination of the inevitable”. I love procrastination. Sometimes, love alone is not enough.

(For andy)

R.A.P. (Rants with Ants in Pants) 1 - I need a new alarm clock

I need a new alarm clock, but you cannot give it to me cos it's so suay to give me clock they say, so I need to buy a new alarm clock.
I need a new alarm clock because now, I cannot wake up in the morning in time because the alarm clock i have now is not strong enough, it's like japanese coffee, too weak, no kick, and then at night i don't have enough sleep becuase i don't like to sleep early, then like i get so frustrated because i cannot finish my work, then i know that i cannot wake up early tomororw to do because my alarm clock now is too no kick and then i get so frustrated and i have no time and no mood and when i got no mood i don't want to work but i just want to sleep and then i cannot sleep becuase i cannot finish my work and i dont' sleep becuase i can't finish my work the ni cannot wake up tomorrow because my no kcik clock cannot wake me up and i ge tso pissed off like that being so trapped in this stupidity and lack of sleep meanscannot drive emans waste time, means waste everythin meands feel stupid and means get misundertstood means so blur and so impossible.
I NEED A NEW ALARM CLOCK. I DON'T EVEN LIKE TO WAKE UP EARLY. I DON'T EVEN LIKE TO SLEEP EARLY. I DON'T EVEN LIKE IT. but i need a new alarm clock. and i need the money to buy it. which i don't have. so i want to go crazy again. because it's a nest of things i don't want to do. because it's so stupid.

If I were a snail, I could just sleep and wake up in my slimey house to eat on anything green and leave a trail of shit without getting out of the house you know, and sleep whenever i want to and eat and sleep and so on, mate occasionally, or whatever is it that i would do, eggs or whatever, and die from falling off a tree or drinking too much coffee or whatever.
If I were a snail, I would not need a new alarm clock. I don't even like snails.

I NEED A NEW ALARM CLOCK because I am not a snail.

Ah Wen

Ah Wen is a lighter thief. Ah Wen steals lighters. She got a few expensive ones in her collection, but she stopped stealing those because she feels bad about stealing those. Nowadays, she pretty much sticks to stealing disposable lighters. She likes them more than anything else. She likes it when she finds a new design, or a new colour, of something so familiar to her. She likes to use her stolen lighters as she wonders how the previous owner used it - mostly for cigarettes, she guesses, but possibly sometimes for flaming drinks or cakes or other things in her imagination. So, of course, Ah Wen doesn't take them from over the counter, because they are new and they are not yet special. Yes, she even takes them from her friends, who sometimes steal lighters for her. Ah Wen has too many lighters to count, so she does not bother to. She is sometimes afraid that her room will explode. She is sometimes afraid that the police will take her away. She is most times unhappy.

An informal piece of Bukit Timah Road nostalgia

It's quite something to be along Bukit Timah Road around evening time. The students never grow old. They look quite the same as we once did. And they remind us perfectly of who we used to know. Their distinctive after-school-smell... The way they chatter with their friends... Or the way they look into space so seriously.
I no longer remember what fills the mind of a student on his/her solitary way home. Something they said in class? An argument waiting at home? That special "meimei" or boy?
I can really only imagine like an outsider. Scary. It's like I haven't been there before!

Still, I wish to tell them that it's probably not important at all. That they should forget about everything completely, and enjoy the unspoken, yet unanimously acknowledged, rights to be irresponsible that belong to teenagers.
I wish somebody had told me...though I probably wouldn't have believed.
Oh well...

Oh well, I want to go into the schools though. I want to see to remember how it was like, before I become too far away, too old, and forgotten by myself. I want to sit where I used to sit, and remember who I used to laugh with, and what I used to eat every Friday, and how I psyched myself up to fake a fever.
I want to hide where I used to hide, and listen to the echoes of the whispers I used to whisper, to remember who I used to whisper to.
I want to watch where I used to watch, and imagine that that ageless faceless student over there is you, or anybody, and wonder how everything could have been different.
I want to go where you used to go and imagine how you used to go there and what you used to do and wonder how everything could have been different and how you felt and what was on your mind.
I want to eat what you used to eat I want to laugh at what you used to laugh at and imagine how it might have been if we might have been able to laugh at it together.
Not because I love you, but because I might have.
Not because I love you, but because of the past we have lived, and might have shared.

(For Junyao, though not about Junyao, to convince him of something secretive.)

Challenge

Smile, in a nice way,
at three strangers on a day
you feel quite okay.

(July - August Theme Song)

"this is pointless,
it can't be helped,
in this wonderful world,
we are just living our lives."

Jump on the spot.

Jump on the spot twice
and probably nothing much will happen except that you
jumped on the spot twice.

4 am

I must sleep too late
but I hear the insects' song
that is deafening.

(an old piece and old other things)
(sneak)

Ice Cream Sundae

I did not enjoy the peach coloured, peach flavored ice cream.

I took two tip-of-the-spoon-ful-s of it and everyone's paper umbrellas to play with them until it was time to leave.

I chose and took two paper umbrellas with me. One green, painted with morning glory. The other yellow, painted with another flower

I don't remember because I broke it and threw it away on the way home.

Now, I am not as happy as I could be.

想你 3

昨晚，我这儿下着大雨。
昨晚，我梦见了你。
今早醒来的我想着昨晚的你在哪里、
当我在梦见你的时候，你梦见了谁？

The Scream Monster Report

Name: Scream Monster, The. A.k.a. Scream Queen, The. A.k.a."Aahhhhh!" (As in, the screaming itself.)
Sex: Female.
Age: Very, very old.
Place of origin: Some say Lake Vostok. Others doubt.
Physical Attributes: Petite, invisible to most eyes, beautiful.
Other Attributes: Solitary, secretive, neither kind nor unkind but capable of both.
Basic description: The Scream Monster farms screams commercially. She sows the different scream seeds into you, nurtures their growth, harvests them, and then sells them off. The Scream Monster has a lot of partners who are involved with the production process and different partners are involved with different screams. The partners are compensated with different amount of screams proportionate to how much their screams are worth. It is a very profitable business. She is a very important lady as screams are very important materials or ingredients for very important things. She is therefore more commonly referred to as the Scream Queen. Apparently, screams also make great snacks sometimes.
Common types of screams:
Each type of screams are classified into about 5 different grades, ranging from the best which comprises of the truest screams, to the poorest, which comprises of the falsest screams. The best screams are most valuable; the poorest are not so valuable. Presented below are brief introduction of 4 major screams.
1) The dream screams (DS): Rare, involves unspeakable partners who partake in the process with unspeakable grace. In their purest form, dream screams are very powerful and can repel both goodness and evil. The secret beings are known to wear them as a pendant of sort to protect themselves, for example, on uncertain journeys. Only powerful beings can withstand the force of the dream screams though. It is said that the Scream Queen herself wears a necklace and a cloak made of dream screams.
2) The fear screams (FS): Common, and important. The fear screams are jointly produced with the Panic Kingdom. The truest and most powerful fear screams used to come from the Panic King himself, but now, those are rare as he usually lets his Queen tend to most of the production. The other members from the Panic Kingdom take part in the production themselves, producing fear screams of different grades and quantity. The lower grade fear screams are common ingredients in secret food.
3) The delight screams (DeS): Less common than FS, more delicious. The delight screams are jointly produced with the elusive Joylets. It is well known that the lower grades of delight screams are suckled upon by beings of all origins like our lollipop. The best delight screams are extremely and profoundly powerful and valuable, although it seems that few know of its proper use. Delight screams are usually cultivated in children, although adult delight screams are known to be more powerful.
4) The boredom screams (BS): Somewhat common and important raw material in the secret world. They are jointly produced with the Bore Monster. The boredom screams are touted to be tough, and flexible, they make great clothing, and are most associated with invisibility cloaks.
In case of screaming:
1) If you feel a scream coming, scream as naturally as possible.
2) Pretend you don't know about the secrets of screams, scream and forget.
In case of meeting the Scream Monster:
1) Pretend you don’t know about the Scream Monster.
2) Scream if you have to, then pretend to be puzzled.
3) Run away.
4) I can’t exactly tell you how, but DO NOT OFFEND HER.
But don’t worry too much as the chances of meeting her are quite slim.


Pssst FAQ:
1) If we’re supposed to pretend that we don’t know anything, why publish the secret report at all?
A) It’s one of those matrix (the movies) things, you know, getting closest to the truth as possible, for the sake of it.

She 3

She tiptoed to the palm tree
that felt the lack of rain
to water it with coffee
before sipping a sip again.

想你 2

那一天， 我在巴士转换站看见了你。
你穿着你的那件 "favourite jeans" 和一件我从没见过的t-shirt。
是新买的吧？还是朋友送的？

Friday Night

He is spending this cheerless Friday night alone on the sofa that belongs to a stranger. He fixes his gaze upon his black leather shoes that stand neatly against the white wooden door. He is not wondering about anything. His mind is completely blank. Soon, he will fall asleep and grind his teeth. And then, he will dream about the blossoming jasmine bush from his childhood before waking up and remembering it and missing his grandmother very much.

想你

这几晚都睡得不好。
脑子里的影子，其中有你。
偶而会很想要联络一下，问声：“最近还好吗？”
但也许遗憾也是一种回味。
在睡不着觉的夜晚上，至少还会有你。

Past Times

I used to lie down
and enjoy doing nothing
but watch the fan spin.

Coffee and love.

Her favourite kind of coffee is the type at the kopitiam, with enough milk, and enough sugar... well, generally sweet enough, and milky enough. She likes the smell, or aroma, and the lingering taste in her mouth, or the robust lingering taste in her mouth. She knows they say that true coffee drinkers like their expressos properly. but maybe nobody has showed her how. her second favourite kind of coffee is cafe latte at the higher class kopitiams with angmohmias. which are generally milky enough, and she'll have to make it sweet enough too, by adding the sugar syrup, which can be difficult.

She thinks that if it's true when they say that love is like a cup of coffee (yes, people say that) then it's cute that she likes it the way she likes it, even if it's not really the way it's supposed to be liked.

I thought you belonged to me.

Saw the pyramids along the Nile,
Watched the sun rise on a tropic isle...
Just remember darling,
All the while you belonged to me...

Kid

Everybody was concerned about Kid when he was young. He used to sit there, harmlessly, lonelily.
Eventually, luckily, everything straightened out alright.
Kid wanted me to tell you that he believes in you.
Take care.

Got milk?

It's not a nice feeling to be hungry at night and long for a long tall glass of milk. It is a nice feeling to drink cold milk from a simple clean glass. It is a nice feeling to see the remains of the milk of trickling back down into the glass as you gulp the last gulp.

Aye, of the simple pleasures in life.
Still, it's not a nice feeling to be hungry at night and long for a long tall glass of milk.

The past...

The past bloomed and withered.
The present is blooming and withering.
The future shall bloom and wither.

The Panic Kingdom Report - The Lizard Envoys

Everybody should already know that spiders are envoys of the panic kingdom. What you might not know yet, though, is that house lizards are also agents of the Panic Kingdom. This news can perhaps surprise you, but now you better think twice before you secretly or not secretly curse the cackling again. It has not yet been cracked, the cackling code, but it is quite almost certain that the lizards' chirps are meant to either discuss your anxiety level with one another, or to report to their superiors.
It is understood however, that the lizards are definitely of higher rank than the common spiders, either because they are bigger, or that they have fewer limbs, or that they can cackle, often quite loudly. It is suspected that some lizards report directly to the Panic King and Panic Queen themselves. In sum, the house lizards are quite important figures in the Panic Kingdom. (That is why sometimes even their commonest calls have the power to startle you.)

Name: Common House Lizards, The. Envoys of the Panic Kingdom. Or Common House Geckos, The. (There are basically 3 subtypes: The Common House Gecko (Hemidactylus frenatus; being the commonest), The Flat-Tailed Gecko (Cosymbotes platyurus), and The Four-clawed Gecko (Gehyra mutilata)).
Sex: Both. Girl lizards are usually agents of the Panic Queen, and boy lizards are subordinates of the Panic King.
Age: Eggs up. Quite unknown how old they can get because magical nature.
Place of origin: The Panic Kingdom.
Attributes: Usually silent (except for occasional cackles), responsible and competent (quite workaholic actually), generally a depressed bunch of beings, can be rather anxious. Temperament ranges from mild to bad mannered, as of in any bunch of beings. Some reportedly suffer from symptoms of anxiety or personality disorders.
Rank/Position: Varies. Ranks range from low to high. It is firmly established that their rank is higher than that of the common house spiders. It is suspected that promotion is dependent on when they autotomize (“self-cut"). This is taken to be an indication of power-up in terms of anxiety endured or managed. The higher ranking the lizard is, the higher the number of times it must have practiced autotomy.
Basic physical description: All 3 subtypes have a head, 4 limbs (with 5 digits each except for the Four-claw Gecko who has only 4 clawed digits on its fore feet), and perhaps a tail, or at least something like where a tail could be. They are lizard in color. They have cool tongues. They walk on walls. Nocturnal.
The Common House Gecko: Its tail is oval in cross-section, with a longitudinal series of spiky tubercles.
Flat-tailed Gecko: It has a fringe of skin along the sides of the body and tail. The tail is flat in comparison with the Common House Gecko’s, and serrated along the edge. The fingers are half-webbed.
Four-clawed Gecko: Tail is neither spiked nor serrated. The juveniles tend to have pink or gold spots which disappear as they mature. It appears to have slightly translucent skin.
Basic job description: They are somewhat monitors and monitresses of the panic levels of the persons living in their vicinity. They just watch, and feed occasionally. They report the situation to their superiors, who might be other lizards, or basically other agents whose identities cannot yet be revealed for reasons that cannot yet be revealed.
1) They’ll give reports on you. Good report is like, “this fella is responsive to anxiety, he is quite anxious enough, he copes well.” Bad report is like, “this fella is crazy about anxiety, and embraces a nervous lifestyle, doesn’t cope” or “this fella is not responsive to anxiety, he is too calm.” Cumulative bad reports might piss off their superiors, or worse, the Panic Royalty, thus attracting attention to you, i.e. asking for major trouble.
2) They’ll send for the spiders to cause you panic. Just to see how you panic.
3) They’ll make you panic. (When the spiders are lazy or not powerful enough, or just for fun, or to punish you.)
4) They’ll afflict you with depression, anxiety disorders, personality disorders, but usually only symptoms of. (Usually to punish you.) Most commonly afflicted is the panic attack.
(Disorders are afflicted:
a. If it is deemed that you are really a sucker for anxiety (displayed over a prolonged period of time).
b. When you’re desperately unlucky.
c. Usually by Panic King or Queen. It is suspected that being afflicted with especially anxiety disorders is quite equivalent to knighting you as one of their human envoys.)
Possible repercussions of pissing off the Lizard Envoys of the Panic Kingdom:
1) They will give you a bad report.
2) They will punish you.
Precautions to take to prevent from inspiring a bad report:
1) Always be cool.
2) But not too cool.
3) Don’t be rude to lizards.

FAQ: I hate or am scared of lizards, how do I get rid of them without pissing them off?
A: Lizard phobia is a form of anxiety disorder that the lizard envoys brandish. It is afflicted on you because you are vulnerable, or they are just making fun of you, or whatever reasons. Demonstrate competence and calmness when you are trying to get rid of them. Systematically do what a non-lizard-phobic person would do, and you’ll pass the test, and either the phobia will leave you, or its severity will lessen.

(Should you have more information on the lizard envoys of the Panic Kingdom or on the Panic Kingdom itself that you would like to share, eg. sightings, understandings, conversations, please send to meekfreak@gmail.com, subject title, "The Panic Kingdom (lizard envoy or whatever) report.")

And so it is.

And so it was, on a quiet night, I looked at the sky. It seemed like noisy thoughts fought to flood my mind the whole time. Both restlessly and tiredly, I ignored them all. I thought not to try to understand because I felt too bored of them. Looking at the sky, I couldn't think of anything - anything to distract me, or anything to think about besides the miscellaneous troubles.

So, I tried to relax, by making sense out of the clouds' shapes, you know, how we used to do that as kids, and kiddy pasttimes are supposed to be relaxing... At first, I saw something like a horse, then I lost it, then the clouds must have thought I was boring and left. Then, there were just stars, and I couldn't think of anything again.

So, I tried to relax again, by looking for Orion in the stars, because I remembered since when I was quite a kid, I'll spot the Orion, and be happy (you know, back then, a book introduced us). At first, I thought I saw his belt, but he must have went out without his belt, and I had missed my friend. And then, I couldn't think of anything again.

So, I tried to relax again, I thought I'll just stare at the stars and watch how they twinkle. That should be simple enough. At first, I was taken by how they really twinkle. Then, I thought, wow, they really look like diamonds in the sky. Then, I thought, eh, some of those small ones might be satellites, which by the way, is a super nasty revelation, especially on star gazing occasions. And then, I couldn't think of anything again.

So, with miscellaneous troubles fighting at the back of my head, restlessly and tiredly, I gave up and went to bed. I couldn't think of anything anymore, and so it was goodnight.

(And so, that's why I haven't been writing anything. 23 May)

Elephant Parade

Tonight, an invisible parade of elephants line up. There are big elephants, small elephants, pink, brown, white and grey ones too. Invisibly pink, invisibly brown, invisibly white and invisibly grey, that is. Of course, there are also who are invisibly purple, green and blue... Some of them are lady elephants, some are boy elephants, some are in love. Some of them glow and some have shiny star-like-opal eyes. Some have little elephants beside them, some have little elephants within their bellies. Some have tasks of fine bone china, some have their bodies of clean white feathers. One has his body covered with dirty white feathers though. Some elephants are of baby blue towel. One of which has a baby pink earring on one side. Some elephants are of emerald green bottle glass, some are of emeralds. Some are of gold and some are of silver...
They greet each and every other maybe like long lost friends, but maybe not, but definitely eagerly and happily. They have to be rather quiet, so they whisper their hellos in a way invisible elephants have to whisper sometimes.

sept 17. 2004.

i still haven't found what i was looking for

i still haven't found what i was looking for i searched and searched and i went down on my knees and face to look in corners and obscure places i must have kept it somewhere safe because it is so important or quite important i should have started looking earlier then it might have been easier to recall where i hid it it is frustrating i do not know if i can report a loss even i might have dropped it accidentally what if someone else finds it it is driving me crazy that i still haven't found what i was looking for!

(Untitled)

please don't feel bad about yourself.
all you need is some coffee.

She 2

She looked into the mirror
at those black mascara clumps
and removed them with horror
and her fingers and her thumbs.

There remain the remains of a bat

There remain the remains of a bat
fatally entangled in a bird trap.

The Sleep Monster report

Name: Sleep Monster, The.
Sex: Male, although there have been reports of him being in female form.
Age: Unknown. First reports of visits by the Sleep Monster were filed in about 2002.
Place of origin: Unknown.
Attributes: Shape-shifter, bad-tempered, but relatively good in nature.
Basic description: The Sleep Monster eats the dust and grime off your dirty dreams. (Dirty not as in erotic, but messy, dark, humid, cruel, wicked, scary, etc. Dirty includes erotic though.) When the Sleep Monster feeds, you will sleep and sleep and sleep. There are reports of sleeping up to 20 hours a day because of the sleep monster.
Tell-tale signs that you have been sleepmonstered:
1) You slept for a long time, particularly if during the day. There have been few reports of the Sleep Monster visiting in the night, maybe because too many people are asleep then; it's too noisy for him.
2) You don't know why you slept or, it was against your will, you slept. Sometimes you have to sleep against your will but this is not recommended, you should sleep willingly and accept the descent of the Sleep Monster.
3) Felt tired even though you slept for very long hours. This could be either because a) your dreams are very dirty. Or b) you have been fighting in your sleep with the Sleep Monster to keep your dreams dirty. Or c) he likes you. Or d) he doesn't like you.
4) You woke up with bad hair. It has been postulated that this happens when the dirt and grime of your dreams are particularly tough to remove.
5) Feeling like he visited. You meet descriptions 1, 2, and usually 3, and feel like he has visited, then he probably visited.
Precautions to take to prevent from being sleepmonstered:
1) Sleep regularly.
2) Stop having dirty dreams.
3) Don't sleep with wet hair.
In case of meeting the Sleep Monster:
1) Don't panic, he will not hurt you. Relax, try to enjoy.
2) Be polite.
3) Don't speak to him unless he speaks to you first.
4) Don't assume that he is or is not the Sleep Monster for you might recognize wrongly, angering the real Sleep Monster who might be angered. Generally, you should only speak about him when you are awake. You will only know after you wake up, or if he says "I am the Sleep Monster", or "I am not the Sleep Monster".
Possible repercussions of pissing off the Sleep Monster: He'll not eat the dirt off your dreams and it'll get dirtier and worse.

Watch out! The Sleep Monster is on the prowl.
(Should you have more information on the Sleep Monster that you would like to share, eg. sightings, understandings, conversations, please send to meekfreak@gmail.com, subject title, "The Sleep Monster report.")

The Happy Green Snake

There is a green snake, usually quite harmless, that lives in a strawberry field. As the strawberries ripen, and turn bright pink red, the green snake is happy as it slithers about saying "hee hee" to itself. Once in a while, the green snake will choose for itself, a strawberry of a right size, colour, and shape, and swallow it after two chomps ("chomp chomp"). The snake bothers nobody, and nobody bothers the snake. The snake will live and be happy forever until that day when his heart gets broken.

How are you?

Hello world. Hello you. Hello love. Hello dreams.
Hello peace. Hello time. Hello mind. Hello free.
Hello sky. Hello sun. Hello stars. Hello winds.
Hello breeze. Hello sea. Hello grass. Hello tree.
Hello warmth. Hello light. Hello dark. Hello night.
Hello this. Hello me. Hello that. Hello you.
Hello you. Hello you. Hello you. Hello me.
Hello me. Hello me. Hello me. Hello you.

Karen

Karen requires him to be a proactively nice catholic boy.

Weird.

Weird to be an ant, you think?
Without a warning,
You will just be crushed and killed.

The moon

Tonight, the moon looks like a magic white bowl.
A bowl that is kind of jade-like or fragile, with a green or orange tinge, if you imagine.
Glowing in the dark, holding magic secrets.
Altogether, very compelling, very seductive, and very... special...

When was the last time you took a good look at the moon?
Tonight is my first time in a long time.
Tonight, I could be at a rooftop with a friend, taking a better look at the moon.

(Untitled)

Once upon a time, there was a white piece of wall. It was rectangular in shape, with the longer side as the horizontal. There were two rusty nails on this white piece of wall, like eyes, on a curious face. Rust stains leaked from the nails onto the wall, like tears, on a curious face. The white curious face piece of wall was framed by the larger yellowish or dustier piece of wall that framed the white piece of wall.
If you stood in front of it and stared long enough, you might imagine a smile appear, but would then feel generally glad that you could just walk away without saying goodbye, that you could just walk away and live happily ever after.

Moxie high

Recently, I find myself saying, "luckily, I'm high in moxie," too frequently.

Desperation

Desperately, he sighed and said to her, "I feel very desperate."
Desperately, he looked down his fat belly and sighed again, he brushed his thinning white hair with his hand, and he looked up to her from the edge of the chair.
Desperately, she could say nothing in reply.

She

She walks quite carefully
With umbrella in one hand.
Her toes are wet quite thoroughly.
She smiles. They understand.

Genesis 4:9

Then the Lord said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?"
"I don't know," he replied. "Am I my brother's keeper?"

Lake

Beneath the frozen lake, something is writhing within. Perhaps more furiously so precisely because the surface is frozen. The life of the lake is not yet ice.
The life of the lake is not yet ice.

Start a fire, start a fire.
At the centre of it all.
Let it burn, let it burn.
The life of the lake is not yet ice.

What is writhing and writhing furiously?
What is struggling, what is strangling?
What is struggling to believe?
What is struggling to live?
The life of the lake is not yet old.

Scream, as loud as you can,
As loud as you will, scream.

The WooHoo Love~ Machine

The WooHoo Love~ Machine is made from old chewing gums chewed up by all of the world's Love~ gods and goddesses. Painstakingly plastered and molded into one WooHoo Love~ breathing machine, powered by Love~ from all over the world.

(also an old piece)

Pastime

I like to lie down
to watch the grand ceiling fan
twist itself silly.

(an even older piece)

At Class

The air con humming my cold feet clammy my teacher stands in front of the window shifting his weight shifting left right swaying a mechanical escapement guiding his steady speech and the big trees behind him outside move together with him woo woo sway sway but they swing so much more gaily I want to be outside feeling the happy wind in my face my hair.

(an old piece)

(sneak)