Zo bo / "wow, that's magical"

There were three brothers who lived in a house that was far away from anybody else, in a forest, in a land, at some point in time when strange magical things happened now and then, and people didn't get all skeptical, but just go, "wow, that's magical", or something along those lines.

Everyday, the three brothers would go out to deal with their usual hunting and gathering, and also to pass their motion and urine (their house didn't have plumbing). When they were done with the essentials, they would also go about here and there to zo bo (which is a really nifty hokkien phrase that literally translate to mean "do nothing", but does not really mean "do nothing" but something like "do something, probably inconsequential, probably just to pass some time idly"). 

Since they were in the middle of the forest, and the nearest shopping mall was not near at all, and they had no internet, no books to read, they would come up with new ways to zo bo.

The eldest brother, who was tall and thin, enjoyed lying chest down, on the bank of a river (yes, there was at least a river nearby), and dunking his face in the flowing water, lifting it out to take a deep breath every now and then.


"What for?" You may ask... me (as in, me, I, the person who is humbly writing this down) for perceived lack of better alternative people to ask.


"Why..." I may say and pause for some time so that I can come up with something ridiculous to suit his posture, but it doesn't take me that long, really, "He wanted to count the fish passing him by in the river."


"What for?" You may ask. Or, if you should so prefer, "For what?" (Honestly, I personnally prefer the "For what".)

"So that he could get a sense of how many fish pass him by."

"Why would he want to know that?"

"I don't know," I may say with a shrug, "So that he'll go back and tell his brothers, 'Hey what do you know, Twenty-seven fish today'?" But nah, that is too practical. So I think I'll go with, "He liked the way the fins look on the fish."

And you may frown, knowing that this doesn't explain the counting behaviour at all. But you are clever, and you sense that I may say what I may say deliberately because I may be in the mood to be silly, so you may say  "Okay, whatever..." just to get on with it. And I shall quickly go on to talk about the next brother.

The second brother was short and stout, and had a thing for eggs: bird eggs, butterfly eggs, fish eggs, lizard eggs, scrambled eggs, poached eggs, half-boiled eggs, smashed eggs.
He'd climb around the forest, crawl on the floor, and cut up fish, and put in a lot of back-breaking work, just to find eggs to marvel at.

"What does he find so fascinating about eggs?" You may ask.

And I may wonder what nonsense I may have up my sleeves this time, but I may realise that I may not be feeling inspired.

But wait. As I write, I realise I can ask him that for you now, since he's pretty much in my head.

"Because I see the unhatched eggs' potential. Or the cooked/smashed eggs' lost potential." He may reply, pronouncing '/' as 'slash', such that he really says "the cooked slashed smashed eggs' lost potential...

"I can actually see potential - visually, tangibly, physically floating around some eggs like an aura, like a cloud of colours. Some eggs' potential are like fireworks made of feathers. Others are like shadows of sea coconuts dancing with orange mokara orchids... Or lost potential that can look like fish balls bouncing everywhere like gummy bears, or toenails of witches, or the old grey tee-shirt that's on somebody's kitchen floor as a rag..."

Well, you can take it from me that I didn't make this up. Because his reply is so ridiculous and fun that honestly, I wish I did make it up. I would certainly like to claim the credit for myself, but I'm afraid of stealing anything from anyone who can see potential and knows how witches' toenails look like, for he might be a wizard!

"I might be," I hear him warningly.

"And he lives in my head!" I think.

"I don't live in your head," he corrects, "I live in a forest far away from anybody else. But, yes, I am in your head." He nods.

And I smile weakly at all of us now, and move on to the third brother.

The third and last brother was between tall and short and thin and stout, zo bo-ed (note: Singlish past tense to the hokkien verb) by lazing around. He lazed by sitting down, standing up, in the sun, in the shade, humming a tune, eyes closed or eyes opened, looking at the trees or the clouds or his brothers and... you know.

And before I think of anything you may ask me about this lazy brother number three, I stop myself. Because I've been kind of presumptious about the questions you may ask. I apologise. I'm sorry.

So do you think, you can imagine this lazy brother number three, or all three brothers (might as well) in your own head? Then if you have any questions regarding the stuff they do, or not do, and their motivations, or even for wanting to hear something ridiculous, you can ask them directly?

And because I'm curious if the brothers in my head will reply with the same things when they're in yours, could you please help me ask the brothers in your head:
a) if they also really zo all the bo they zo (read: they really do all the shit they do), just to notice something that they didn't notice before and go, "wow, that's magical",
b) if they shall also live happily, ever, after?

Thanks. Let me know, k?

Expressions of Spontaneousness

For each of the many phenomenons (or phenomena, as some would prefer it) in the world, there are different expressions.
For example, there are at least two different kinds of spontaneousness (or spontaneity) that I shall attempt to illustrate below.

Abigail

Abigail was a girl who didn't like to plan, and went with the flow. People who knew her admired her for her spontaneousness, and really wished they could be as cool as her. She would skip school to fly over to Africa for a holiday (her parents could afford it). For breakfast, she could be chewing on a lap cheong (chinese jerky of sorts). One of her favourite antics was going for school assembly with a helium balloon tie to her pony tail. (It was to irritate her teacher for confiscating her colourful hairband. Her school did not allow colourful hair accessories for their students as part of their school uniform code. So, she got a black helium balloon with a black ribbon to tie to her hair instead.)

When she fell in love, she was also spontaneous and went with the flow and had unprotected sex with her boyfriend. She got pregnant, spontaneously. And her parents hunted down her "true love" for her, and "enticed" him to marry her. They had their "unannounced" wedding in Bali, "suddenly". ("Oh so spontaneous! So romantic!" But actually it was to hide her showing tummy.)

One day, her parents spontaneously lost their fortune due to some spontaneous market crash and bad luck. Abigail had to go to work and be a mother to her children (she had three more by then, one with a different man from her then-husband, who found out and became her ex-husband). She didn't have much chance to plan much anymore because there was not much room for manuveuring between working and feeding the family, anyway, besides occasionally dreaming about how she could have gone to some other country to do some social work.

Betty

Then there was Betty, who planned and was fastidious about her time, money, and everything else. Everyone who knew her, admired her for being so organised and careful, but did not really wish they were like her.

"Live a little, Betty!" they would say. "Be free, like Abigail!" 

But Betty shrugged and confessed that she didn't know how to be like Abigail.

"Betty, you're no fun!" they said, "We're gonna hang out with Abigail!"

And Betty would shrug and go home by herself. She'd spend her afternoon alone at home, watching tv (whatever channel), cooking or buying her own lunch, sleeping or daydreaming, doing her homework or read a book, or surf the net, or daydream, or cut her nails...

In my way, I'm also free, what? Betty shrugged and thought to herself.

When she fell in love, she was also swept off her feet, made out with him and stuff, but did not get pregnant because she insisted on using birth control. The relationship didn't work out, due to some differences, so she shrugged and moved on by concentrating on her studies then went for an exchange programme somewhere in Europe. In Europe, she had a crush on one of the Ang Mohs she met in one of the backpacker's hotel, and had a thing going on for a while. Then she had a crush on some other guy but it wasn't serious.

She then started working for a while and then changed her jobs in a year or two whenever she didn't like what she was doing anymore. One day, she decided to propose, plan, and implement some corporate social responsibility initiative at her workplace, and during the course of making it happen, she met her husband and got married...

Claudia, Dawn, Edna...?

What about them? What were they doing with their lives?

Maslow's hierarchy of needs?

Sardines are very insecure by nature - they have a very strong need to belong. This need drives each sardine to do what the next sardine does, and motivates each sardine to need what the next sardine has.

A bunch of dolphins understood this, and decided to capitalise on it because pollution and over-fishing by human beings had made times quite hard la, and they had to find new ways to make a living somehow...

So, they applied their wits and business sense to making some money to buy some food from the humans instead.

They had a stock of abandoned flippers (from irresponsible divers and general waste), and they marketed the idea of wearing or living in them to the sardines.

"Tired of skirting Helter Skelter? Get shelter! Safety flippers for sale! (Made of 100% recycled material.)"

It was a big hit.

The sardines snatched up the flippers with the money they earned by selling intelligence on the whereabouts of secretive sardine schools to the human beings.

Red Tape

There was a boy who was very helpful. He tried his best to help everyone around him to do everything they asked him to help them with. He did not think too much about it. He was neither very proud about it, nor did his actions spring from an inferior-complex need to make anyone like him better. He just helped in anyway he was told: tabao chicken rice for his family's dinner from the kopitiam downstairs, massage his mother's shoulders, mend the hole in his father's underwear, change his sister's diapers, clean his grandfather's dentures...

Then, he got old enough to go to school.

So he went. And made "friends". And helped his teachers to carry books here and there, and got labelled as being a "por2" (apple polisher). And helped his "friend" to tie her shoe-laces, and got called a sucker. And helped another "friend" to touch the teacher's backside, and got into serious trouble.

"Why do you always help them do these things?"

"Because they said that they needed my help?"

"Have you ever wondered if they were lying? Just making use of you?"

"But, what if they were not lying?"

"You do so much for them, what have they done for you in return?"

"I should be happy and count my blessings that I've not needed their help so far. But if I need their help one day, they'll help me too?"

"What if they say they forget you've ever helped them before?"

"Then I'll help them remember...?"

After getting into more and more serious trouble repeatedly, until his teenage-hood, and the people around him had less and less respect for his moral high-ground, the boy started to keep a log book, in which he would record down whenever people ask him for help, and how he helped in return. This became a habit that he could never stop. And he suffered for it and perhaps from the anxiety and doubt that people may forget about what he has done for them? And perhaps from the stress from being cheated and getting his heart broken too many times?

By the time he was an adult, he was logging in requests from himself, because he did not have a lot of friends nor was there a lot of people who would talk to him.

It started with: "I asked me to help me to buy chicken rice."

Then it gradually grew to become: "I asked me to help me buy chicken rice, and I asked my left hand to hold the spoon and the right hand to hold the fork to help me eat it."

Still, he managed to get himself into the most serious trouble he'd ever get himself into:

One day, as he was eating chicken rice, and busy logging in his request to his mouth to spit out the stuff it contained, and his throat and lungs to cough, and his legs to get up and run to the toilet, and his hands to hit his chest or flail around for help...

Grandmother story: On finishing a novella

(Written on 25 April 2012, Wednesday)

Finally, I've clicked sent and passed up the work.

It's a manuscript of a novella, that I've worked on for over a year, the working title is The House of Millie's Dreams, the word count, a little over 35,000, and it is supported by the Arts Creation Fund from the National Arts Council.

It feels a little surreal that I've reached this milestone... but also not so super exciting because it's just a manuscript, and I've finished it too many times in the past few months, and especially in the past week: proofread, edit, edit, proofread but itchy-hand and edit some more... format and spot typo... alamak should I proofread again...? 

But maybe since I've not touched the work for two days now, I've somehow mustered the decisiveness to just send it in to NAC la. Maybe because today is a good day. Maybe because I really can't bring myself to read it again. 

I could try to sense some accomplishment... But then I also don't have the mood.  

I visited my uncle today, and the journey to his place, where my grandma used to live, and its view of the Chinese Garden pagoda at sunset, reminded me of the times when I used to visit her. 

There were two kites being flown in the sky. I couldn't spot the people flying them. I saw a small monkey running across a field chasing something. But I can't remember what it was chasing.

My grandma's bed had since been replaced by my cousins' study desks. 

If she were still around, I'd climb into her single-size bed and squeeze somewhere beside her, and tell her that I finally finished the story I was busy writing. And she'd be happy for me, regardless of whether she can understand the story or my summary of it in broken Hokkien-Mandarin translation. 

"它是个微型小说，故事是讲述 一个女人，她有一些迷离的梦。比如梦中有一种树，树上没有叶子，在叶子应该在的位子，长了鸟儿。梦中也有一个僵尸，而特别的是 在于他的脸是一个时钟。好像你的墙壁上的那个咯。还有其他的怪东西啦。

故事刺激读者  考虑真假的区别，和 逻辑与理智 在生活里的重要性。它拿 现代红毛 (ang moh) 与科学  的想法 和 华人传统 的想法 做比较。 比如 解梦方式 - 红毛 用的心理学理论 和 我们的庄周和周公。

其实这个故事满抽象的。我也不知道读者的反应会是怎么样。有点紧张。。。"

"It's about a woman, who has strange dreams of a house with strange things like birds growing on trees in place of leaves and a zombie with a clock for a face... The story provokes readers to reconsider truth and falsehood, and the role of logic or rational thinking in their lives. It draws parallels between Western and Chinese cultures - like with dreams - between pseudo-psychology with Zhuang Zhou and Zhou Gong.

"Basically, it's quite abstract and I'm not sure how people will respond to it."

When my grandma was still around, I had told her about previous drafts before, and although they were equally, if not more, absurd and abstract, she took them well. Though she was not highly educated, she's pretty cool with such things. She might have thought that they are weird or amusing, or that it was common for people to write nonsense like that nowadays. Anyway, she wouldn't be too bothered. Maybe because it's just a story after all.


She seemed more curious, or even concerned, about why I had to go through all the trouble to write it. Especially since it was unlikely that the story would make me a lot of money. Especially if it seemed like I lost weight over it.

*

So I offered her some joss sticks at the altar and paid my respects to her (or what's left of her?) and told her, in my heart, that I've finished the story. And I imagined that she was happy for me. Regardless of whether she'd understand the story or why I wrote it, I was sure she'd be happy for me. Then I caught my thoughts, and I remembered that I ought to be wishing that she had already left this world and her worries and concerns, including me, behind, and she had gone to a better place. 

I think of all the time I could have spent with her if I wasn't squandering it on writing a stupid story that I don't know if anyone would even appreciate. But maybe, if not for the writing, I wouldn't have learnt to appreciate time as much, and I wouldn't have matured enough to appreciate her company as much? I could have squandered time on drinking, or learning drawing, or sleeping, or watching TV or movies, or shopping, or working overtime at my cpf-earning work? 

Well, nevertheless, I tell her again, in my heart, that I'm sorry. For not having spent more time with her. And I imagine, her to call me "gong3 gia4" (meaning silly child), and to remind me that everybody has to die eventually, and that ah ma is already very grateful for everything she had, and she had been praying for the time to come for her to go, and I should be happy for her that her wish finally came true. And she will stroke my face with her palm, in the way she used to do, and tell me not to cry anymore. 

Another Old Man and the Sea

By the way: Bad Composition

I do apologise for the bad composition of this picture:


My excuse is, I took it in a hurry.
But, there is something interesting about it, you'll find,
if you'll bear, a little bit, with me.

At the bottom of the picture, you see some wooden planks,
and then some slabs of stone,
and two bigger stones, green with algae,
and then some pots on top of them, and at the back, some plants.

Just in front of the bigger stones, green with algae,
there's a kind of chain of blackish things on the ground;
and if you were there, to breathe the air,
you won't be surprised to find, the blackish things to be a pile of dog shit.

And before you think, "This silly spoilt person thinks that dog shit is interesting? Why?"
It's not the dog shit I find amusing,
But how, look closely now,
on the dog shit, there rests a rather large orange-black-brown-winged butterfly.

It was there for quite a while -
long enough for me to have had hesitated then hurried to take the picture -
flapping its wings slowly, like how butterflies sometimes do,
when they rest to feed on nectar.

Okay. Then, take a look around you, at the dainty butterflies with pretty wings,
Adorning your own or your wife's, daughter's, niece's girly things,
Curtains, blankets, clothes, bags, hair clips, necklaces, rings,
And imagine them to be resting, and maybe feeding, on dog shit.

Come on, you've gotta agree with me, at least a little bit, that it is entertaining.

Alternate Reality TV

Once upon a time, in a world far away, surveying committees were formed with representatives from Heavens and Hell to collect data on the Human realm for assessment of future residency demands. The cosmic laws dictated that this would be done every now and then. The data reports would be submitted to a council of Heaven and Hell Gods' and Demons.

One time, a powerful spirit medium of the Human realm learned that one such committee was about to survey his county, so he went to inform the local magistrate. The medium was so resourceful that he even knew that the committee would make their assessments from watching an hour of local news programme.

The county magistrate rewarded the medium with a lot of money and quickly commissioned a fabricated news programme. He hoped that the committee would think that his beloved people were rich and happy, and save all of them places in Heaven. The News reported about additions of beautiful buildings and parks, new hospitals that treated for free, and a rich vibrant Arts scene. It reported bad weather ahead with a reminder for people to bring extra umbrellas when they go out so that they could lend it to people who forgot to bring umbrellas.

The surveying committee members were impressed by the state of events in the county and were inclined to assess that these people were likely to go to Heaven, as they must have been leading good and honest lives to deserve such a peaceful and prosperous place.

But one of the members, a ghost, who was banished to hell for mistreating poor people, stood up and said, "Wait! Didn't you all notice what was playing during the advertisement break?"

Someone replied that he missed it becuase he went to the toilet. The others were chatting and weren't paying attention, so the ghost rewinded the video tape and pointed out,

"Three commercials were aired during the break. One was on a slimming product. The other two were from competiting pawn shops broadcasting their services. How could this county and society really be doing well when the pawn shops are prospering (at least enough to advertise over television)?"

The magistrate had forgotten to tell the television station to suspend their commercial breaks.

The committee changed their assessment and applauded the vigilant ghost. They said that to his credit, the people in the county would have a place to stay when they eventually end up in Hell.

When they submitted the report, however, the Heaven and Hell Gods' and Demons reprimmanded the committee for their biased data collection. They were supposed to make independent observations, and not recommend if the people should be routed to Heaven or Hell.

The Gods and Demons said that in times of prosperity, there might be a high chance for greed and corruption to proliferate, so a lot of people might be sent to Hell. In times of poverty, there might be a lot of opportunities for people to show compassion and kindness, so a lot of people might go to Heaven.

The committee was sent back to collect data, and they were forbidden to do so from watching television, so they read newspapers instead.

Politics and Policies

Once upon a time, there were four parallel universes and one not so parallel universe. In these universes, there each lived a School of fish of many different types and colours. There were green, blue, red, yellow, purple, pink, white, black, big, small, fat, thin, handsome, ugly, kind, greedy, clever, stupid, etc.

These Schools developed along their own paths. They had some differences, like their political environment and decisions. The fish in Universe A chose predominantly Green fish to lead their School. The fish in Universe B chose fish who were Green or Handsome. The fish in Universe C, like Universe A, chose Green fish, but amongst them, there were a bunch of Green and Clever fish who loved the School very much. The fish in Universe D chose Green, Ugly, Purple Clever, Yellow Greedy, and Pink Cool fish to lead the School. The fish in Universe E didn't really have leaders that decided everything by default that's why it was not so parallel with the rest.

These universes also shared some similarities, one of these similarities was that the Schools of fish were sometimes presented with the same decisions to be made. They sometimes conclude with similar or different decisions, for varying reasons. One day, it was time to decide whether or not they should open an opium den. An underwater opium den, imagine how attractive that would be!

Universe A. Where the Green fish ruled.

In the history of Universe A, the Green fish united all the fish in the School, despite their various differences, by one common love: that of money. They knew that of power, wisdom, and wealth, wealth was measurable and objective, and all the other communities that just started out, like the Birds and Amphibians, needed money to get anything done. And all the other fish were simple and smitten by the lure of wealth, they were eager to learn how to love money better and make more money. All the fish learnt to love money and those who were rich were envied and despised. And those who were poor were ignored and despised, even by themselves.

When it was time to choose their leaders, the fish chose those who were most capable of helping them keep their wealth and luxuries, despite resenting having to pay them so much to do so. But that was ironic because the only fish who were willing to rule and lead would do so only because they, like the rest of the community, loved money too. The Green fish were capable and had a good track record of keeping the School rich, so they were always chosen to lead again and again, and allowed to make all the decisions.

When the rest of the fish felt like lamenting (a luxurious past-time of the rich, so it was very fashionable), they'd complain about the Green leaders, and criticise the rich Green leaders on being elitist, and whatever.

When it was time to decide on the opium den, the Green fish leaders decided to open it for the sake of money, because of the revenue that it would generate. If it were not done, the School of fish might risk becoming poorer and nobody wanted that.

Universe B. Where Green fish and Handsome fish ruled.

In the history of Universe B, the Green fish used to rule predominantly, and when they did, they also united all the fish in the School, despite their various differences, by one common love: that of money. Money was measurable and objective unlike too many other things, like sanity.

Universe B used to be like Universe A, but somewhere along the line, they also voted for Handsome fish to be leaders, so the community came to be ruled by the Green fish and the Handsome fish, who made all the decisions.

They chose the Handsome fish, who were the bravest and loudest "lamenters" against the exclusive Green leaders, and who voiced their sentiments articulately, preferably in good English. Some of the Handsome fish volunteered because they had wanted to share the elitism and high salaries enjoyed by the Green fish. Some of the Handsome fish volunteered for love of the attention or the opportunity to lead. Some of the Handsome fish volunteered because they genuinely loved the common fish and wanted to do their parts for the community.

Some fish decided to support the Handsome fish because they were bored of complaining about the Green fish being elitist and whatever, and wanted new faces to complain about. They liked the idea that, no matter what colour they were, as long as they were born Handsome, or pretty, they stood a chance to be chosen as leaders, too one day. Besides, ceteris paribus, the Handsome fish were much nicer to look at.

When it was time to decide on the opium den, the Green fish leaders and the Handsome fish leaders called each other names for a while before deciding to open it for the sake of money, because of the revenue that it would generate. If it were not done, the School of fish might risk becoming poorer and nobody wanted that.

And nobody, neither the Green fish leaders, the Handsome fish leaders, nor even the other non-leading fish who freed up some time from lamenting about the Green fish being elitist, thought of any alternatives to the opium den. Most of the non-leading fish became busier, having to lament about the Green fish, the Handsome fish, and how they were similar and different.

Universe C: Where there were Green and Clever Fish who ruled with love

In Universe C, the School of fish were all united by one common love: that of money.

However, amongst the Green fish, there were some Green Clever fish, who loved the common fish very much and wanted to do their bits for the community. They were very smart and intelligent. So, they decided to join the Green leaders, because they thought joining the Green leaders was the most efficient way to allow themselves to do some good work for the School. Some Green Clever fish even loved the common fish more than money itself. But they continued to earn a lot of money so that they would not be ostracised by the other Green fish. Ostracism would only waste time that could be better spent serving the School.

Even though the complaints against the Green fish leaders being elitist and whatever hurt the Green Clever fish leaders' heart, they still loved the School very much and wanted to protect the common fish from harm.

When it was time to decide on the opium den, the Green fish leaders decided to open it for the sake of money, because of the revenue that it would generate. If it were not done, the School of fish might risk becoming poorer and nobody wanted that.

But for the harm the opium den was going to cause the School? The families it would break up? The Green Clever fish couldn't sleep for many nights due to the moral dilemma. Some of them wanted to leave the community and live as recluses, but they thought, hey, if they stayed, they could help to prevent the second or third or forth opium den from opening. So, they stayed and tried to save the School from itself.

Universe D: Where the Green, Ugly, Purple Clever, Yellow Greedy, and Pink Cool fish ruled.

In Universe D, the School of fish were all united by one common love: that of money.

Along the way, Green, Ugly, Purple Clever, Yellow Greedy, and Pink Cool fish were voted into positions of leadership.

When they were done arguing over their differences, and disliking each other's faces, the different leaders made decisions together. And got along quite fine because everyone were quite different anyway. The Green fish and Ugly or pretty or handsome fish taught each other their experiences and shared with each other generously. They reminded each other of that they were supposed to love the community and pretended not to love money.

The non-leading fish did not expect that the leaders would have gotten along. Actually, they kept voting for arbitrary new groups of fish to become leaders so that they had new drama to lament about and different sides to take, but that did not happen.

After a while, the common fish finally decided to lament about policies and alternatives. They talked about rights, about campaigns, about the environment, and fashion and paintings.

When it was time to decide on the opium den, the Green, Ugly, Purple Clever, Yellow Greedy, and Pink Cool fish leaders decided to open it for the sake of money, because of the revenue that it would generate. If it were not done, the school of fish might risk becoming poorer and nobody wanted that. They loved the community who loved money after all.

Some alternatives were suggested: the Purple Clever fish suggested that fish could produce more eggs that could be sold off as slaves or food to the Community of Birds, Yellow Greedy fish suggested to have gambling dens instead of opium dens, the Pink Cool fish suggested to encourage all the fish to start their own businesses so that they could earn more money, some other fish (non-leaders who hoped to become new leaders) suggested cutting the existing leaders' pay (though everybody knew that that wasn't really help going to help save that much money and didn't pay much attention to them).

Ultimately, having ran out of good ideas, the leaders agreed that the opium den was the most efficient and sure way to bring in money. So, despite knowing the harm it was going to cause to the School, the families it was going to break up, the opium den was okay-ed.

Besides, if it was going to cause any harm, it would most likely harm those who were poor, who were ignored and despised, even by themselves, anyway. And if they all crossed their fish fingers, the lives of good and innocent fish would not be harmed.

Universe E: That which was not very parallel.

There was another universe that existed, Universe E. It was not very parallel.

The most fundamental difference, was that the community was not united by their love for money. They agreed that money was measurable, and objective, but it was also boring.

They loved their neighbours and friends and good food and simple pleasures, like good jokes, more than money. The rich was sometimes envied for this and that, and pitied for their this and that; the poor was sometimes envied for this and that, and pitied for their this and that. Nobody was really despised or ashamed of themselves. If there was any one love that united them, it was their love for their children, and their neighbours children. They want their children to be happy, not rich, and to have good friends and food and sense of humour. They even have formal education that gathered the children to learn jokes, and how to laugh healthily, and how to do silly dances, and how to make other people laugh. They were also taught how to make money but it wasn't the emphasis.

Another difference in the School of fish of many different types and colours, nobody really ruled, but were only put in their positions to administer the paperwork and filing, and they didn't get to make all the decisions.

Any suggestions that would impact the School, would have to be mooted, discussed and voted by the common fish who were persuaded by the arguments to vote. In other words, all the fish who cared enough about the decisions would cast a vote on whether to do something or not. Those that didn't, didn't. Selling of votes was punished severely. The arguments for and against different decisions were sensibly and carefully thought through. Everybody had the time to carefully think through any suggestions or decisions because they weren't in a hurry to make money.

The arguments would be clearly articulated in the newspapers that were printed on the corals and the little pebbles for the small fish to read, or scrawled in big letters on the giant underwater cliffs for the big fish to read. Those who could read would explain what they read, with limited personal bias to those who couldn't read. They would think for each other, and the impact of the decisions on each other's children. The common fish discussed these issues with each other passionately, intelligently, and developed their opinions actively. They had the time to do these things because they did not love money that much, and thus, saved time from not working so hard for money. They had time to think about how to build an environment for their children to grow up and become happy in. They want their children to be happy, not rich, not beautiful, not clever, not fat, but happy.

Happiness was difficult to measure, and super subjective, but it was okay because everybody had time.

When the time came to decide on the opium den, the School was asked to choose between money and the luxury of riches, such as better hospitals and roads, or the social stability, such as less suicides and simpler family problems. (They put it in more convincing and cohesive terms, of course, having more time than me.) A record breaking number of fish turned up to vote.

Some alternatives were suggested, but since they were unsuitable, the School finally decide to open the opium den. The Common fish, however, only approved it on the following additional conditions:

a) The only fish allowed in the opium den are those whose:

i) Total family income met a decent minimum sum that was equal to
$4,000 (beyond which each fish need not mandatory save 20% of that income for their retirement) X number of adults in the household; AND
ii) Family members (all living) gave their written consent; AND
iii) Quota for opium den entry (once a week) hadn't been used up.

The leading fish would administer these criteria more diligently and more carefully than how the fish divided and managed their public housing incentives.

b) The revenue that the opium den generated was to be used solely for researching a cure for cancer.

The fish eventually found the cure for cancer and even several other previously terminal diseases. They mass produced the cure and subsidised it generously to even the neighbouring Community of Birds and the Community of Amphibians and anyone else who needed it such that, finally, they wiped out cancers altogether (like how the smallpox is an extinct virus in our world).

The thinking fish of Universe E realised their problem: they had longer lives, and so had more time to ruin them in the opium den. Their fellow fish were more and more obsessed about money so that they could squander it in the opium den or buying opium den quota. Their children were less funny because they looked to joking less, and opium and intoxicants more, for pleasure.

Every year somebody, perhaps one who came from the generation of fish who witnessed how opium poisoning ruined their parents' or their parents' friends', or their friends' parents' lives, would moot to outlaw the opium den.

Finally, in the year when cancer was wiped out from the face of Universe E, a record breaking number of fish turned up to vote again.

Against the tempting suggestions to keep the opium den open, so as to put the extra revenue into researching underwater fireworks, which would be ultra grand to watch and would make many fish very happy to watch, or put up trendy designer litter bins for use in the trendy shopping district, which would make many fish proud of the School, the School of fish decided to close down the opium den.

One of the popular messages against the underwater fireworks research was: underwater smoke from setting the underwater fireworks would be symbollic of that rising from the ashes of lives and families ruined by the opium den.

Universes F, G, H, I J...?

Actually, Universes F, G, H, I, J... also existed. In these universes, there each lived a School of fish of many different types and colours......

行得通不通?