Spaces

While he spoke and I listened, the cool morning breeze came to send a shiver up and down my spine and to keep a part of my mind quite awake while I watched from inside how a dull glaze overtook my eyes, and the houses that were outside the window that was behind him suddenly became two mountains. Two mountains, that were dark green and faraway - like a scene from a morning in a China featuring two faraway mountains - appeared behind him and everything faded away. His face became younger. He lost age.

I did not sleep, but I must have been dreaming. I dreamt that he was no longer himself, but my teacher from once upon a time, when I was a farmer or a peasant, of sorts, I think, and he was talking slowly, and I was listening slowly - much slower than the pace at which I had to listen to him now. But I was confused.

I listened to the voice of the teacher for a while. If he was my teacher, and I, his student, why didn't I study harder? I was aware that back in the olden days, I had no internet, no fast paced life, no sms, no errands to run in town later in the day. Why was I confused? I blamed myself for being unable to appreciate life when it was slow.

Then I dreamt that the teacher hit me with his stick, and I felt a sharp pain on my head, so I woke up.

I blamed myself for being too tired, but it was the pace of living the pace of being nowadays. Who isn't too tired nowadays, really? Woe is everybody for having to suffer the living now instead of living then. Woe. Even though they had to plough the fields and had no electricity, their needs were simple, and it was easier to be happy. They lived amongst mountains and woke up to good air, good poems, good sky.

Come on man, I had to wake up this morning to check my emails and my bank account on the internet. And everybody knows how the weather has gone haywire. It was just so hot yesterday, and cold winds blow today. It should only get colder in December... Oh if only I was at home in bed, under the warm covers sleeping. This weather is perfect to sleep in.

But no. Too bad. I can't sleep in tomorrow, I have to go to work. And too bad, I can't sleep in next weekend because I have to go to some baby shower and another somebody is getting married. And too soon, will come warmer weather and goodbye cold winds and hello cold winds...

While he spoke and I didn't listen, I realised this with fear and trepidation - the pace of living the pace of being will only get faster and faster.

(sneak.)