Clumsy, the cat

There was once a siamese cat who had four left feet. They said it was a result of severe in-breeding by the cat breeder, who gave the cat away in disdain to a little girl from the other side of the town. The little girl did not know the cat for its pedigree descent, and decided to call her new pet, "Clumsy" because the kitten looked damn clumsy.

The little girl's brother was a dog-kind of person, and being a brother, irritated and scared his sister for sport. The brother would call Clumsy, "Drunk", and often threatened to use his toy drill to drill little holes through the little kitten's skull and let the blood out to make into blood pudding for the girl to eat. The little girl cried for a few days, until she realised that her brother was just joking, and then she coaxed the kitten to agree with her. The brother soon grew bored of his routine. Everybody got along with the cat and grew up.

Clumsy developed a coat of blue fur that matched his bright blue eyes, but he did not grow much bigger, perhaps due to some hormonal defect that stunted his growth. He looked set to live on for a long time. He was also no longer clumsy, and was smarter and easily trained and could understand instructions pretty well.

In fact, Clumsy was so trainable, that when the girl married, Clumsy was tasked to carry the rings on a ribbon around his neck down the ceremonial aisle. Clumsy easily stole the show with how the sparking rings contrasted against his pretty blue fur. A photograph of him was taken and submitted to a wedding magazine, in which Clumsy was eventually featured in an article on pets and enjoyed a two page photo spread to himself.

The pictures was even more sensational when cat breeders, who in their spare time also liked to get married and read the wedding magazine, saw the picture and went berserk about the blue cat. Some people even insisted that the cat was dyed blue, and it created a big woohah. The local news channel had no other local news to report on so went to interview Clumsy and his owner. It was stupid to watch, but it generated even more interest in the four left-footed bright blue cat. Commercials and products endorsements came Clumsy's way. There were even talks about flying her over to feature her in an episode of "Sabrina the teenage witch" which they were re-filming into another television series again, as one of Salem's visiting friends, but that did not come through.

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Clumsy went on to live for another 50 years. He past away before his owner did, but the details of his death were intimate to the family, and we shall do them a favour by leaving it out of our imaginations. Before he died, he also did a lot of other things. We can imagine about those things instead.