There is no if

When we were at the crossroads two traffic junctions away from your house, I thought of how there must be a million quotes on crossroads, but that I couldn't think of any that touched me. Then when you said that you loved me, I heard from somewhere, or nowhere, the Cure's "There is no if", like it was playing loudly on a stereo in a car driving by.

I thought hard about that - what was the matter with me, and if I still believed in love - I worried myself for a while.

But I thought of her.

She leapt in from the open window in the middle of that sleepless night. Perhaps, she had descended from the moon. The moon was not yet full. Perhaps she was why the moon was not yet full. She looked like she was made of ivory. She looked like she was made of ivory so much that it was impossible that she was made of ivory. I watched her slowly dance around my bed - it was some ballet - it looked like ballet - and she twirled around my bed. It was difficult to see someone so rigid and impossible dance like a ribbon. I was worried if she fell, she would break herself, or crack, or disappear.

When dawn came, she became sunlight.

*

How could I have told you? Would you believe me if I told you that I'm in love with a girl that I must have been delusional to have met? I suppose I am in love with her.

Then I still believe in love - that is how I will comfort myself.

But what will I tell you?