Revealing the Secret of HK...!

It has long been to our amazement how HK, a seemingly healthy skeptical, cynical, paranoid, armchair critic is to withstand the repeated blows of a mundane job as an engineer at some firm somewhere mundane.

How does he stand it? How will he bear it? How can he swallow this shit everyday!?

The Gods of Fate finally took mercy upon us and by a random flash of ingenuity (credits to MOB for bearing the blinding Shazam!) we have finally figured out HOW- The end to an almost endless search for an answer!

THE TRUTH IS OUT!
And the TRUTH is that HK has a SECRET.
And the SECRET is that HK HAS A ROBOT BODY!
It all makes sense now. THINK ABOUT IT! You see, it will all make sense!
HK has a robot body, with a button somewhere in his brain (I suspect at the bottom of his diencephalon) which he will depress every morning with a pair of medical pincers that are one foot long, which he sticks through his ears, or nose, or pops one of his eyeballs out and through the empty socket and pops the eye back. This will allow a HUGE part (about 102.24%) of his consciousness to leave his body and sit at home on the armchair, while his robot body pimps his soulless existence for money. When the robot body comes back from work, the consciousness will point his finger and laugh at the plight of the robot body. The consciousness also points at the modern world triumphantly and laughs at her futile attempt to enslave him and how he rescues himself so perfectly each day. At the intoxicating pointing and laughter both half parties go into a trance and they are merged again. After which, he’ll turn on the computer to surf the web to look at the “other websites” he self-reportedly looks at.

The “other websites”? Other than what? Is this the website he bought his robot body from!?
Oh! Another great mystery to unravel!

(sneak.)

To Stand in a Wheelbarrow

It is not a simple matter, to stand in a wheelbarrow. It is a tricky lever, with possibly two fulcrums. (One of the most dreaded labeling questions in early science tests, for those who were tormented, you surely remember too?) If you stand too near to the wheel, it may tip towards the wheel. If you stand too far from the wheel, it may tip towards the hind legs. Maybe, it is like standing on two seesaws at the same time? Something like standing in between two seesaws at the same time?

It is quite peculiar to see the world while standing in a wheelbarrow. For one, your height is instantly elevated and your perspective changes helplessly immediately.

So I urge you to try it for yourself or even sit down in a wheelbarrow should you ever be lucky enough to have the chance. I have personally tried it only once, albeit briefly, and I will definitely do it again.

Maybe I should buy one for my home, and then I will invite you to come over to try it, and we can have tea. Yes, yes, what a good idea! But first, let me decide on the color of the wheelbarrow, red or green or blue, or if I should paint it later and not decide too hard on anything now. Also, if I can frustrate you more with strong, cheap western tea without sugar or strong, cheap tie guan yin (a type of Chinese tea, if you didn't know). If the tea should be annoyingly lukewarm or scalding hot if it is a warm day or ice cold if it is a cold day.

What a lovely way to spend any time together!

Maybe you should buy one for your home too, and invite me to go over. We can cart each other around the neighborhood and not worry about finding a place to sit for two people. We can also throw some picnic food into the wheelbarrow. We can also go to the supermarket, if your home is out of picnic food.

But, all these are to be done, of course, only after we quite perfect our skills in standing in a wheelbarrow up to some standard. I don’t want us to hurt ourselves, and I repeat in stress, it is not a simple matter to stand in a wheelbarrow.

So, let me know, if you do buy a wheelbarrow, so that I will bring my toilet paper's cardboard centre cylindrical thing to put to my right eye with as I stand in your wheelbarrow and to shout "Land Ahoy!" with much more style than I will if I have to shout without the toilet paper thing.

When we’re bored, we can go back to your place to bathe your baby or terrapin in it. By that, I mean, you can do the bathing, I watch and pass you the towel. Or, we can always go have bad tea at my place.

My True Story

Today, my big right toe was pricked by a magic rose's thorn. It was either a purple rose or a white one, which I wouldn't have known it was a magic rose if I hadn't known. A big drop of red blood oozed out immediately.

After a while, I wondered why I did not fall into a deep, dark sleep.

Tonight, I will dream of a purple or white rose elf who will tell me that I did not fall into a deep, dark sleep because I needed to be stung in the left thumb for the magic to work. If I had been poisoned by the left big thumb, a prince will come to me on a unicorn and kiss me to break the curse, two weeks later.

Shucks.

Quality of Life

If only I can enjoy the jarring sounds of street constructions as wistfully as I listen to the vague sounds of crashing waves, I am sure my temperament shall be greatly improved, for in this time, it is definitely harder for me to find a shell cone randomly to put to my ear than to toss a nail or a screw in an empty coke can and jiggle it with persistent consistency.

I am sure my temperament shall be greatly improved, for in this time, it is so much more possible for me to go home to a neighborhood with some kids almost colliding with the orange cones around, squealing with undeserved pleasure, annoying the adults, over and above the some hammering or demolition around, than to go home to a neighborhood with kids running around on the beach, swimming for undeserved leisure, annoying the crabs, and worrying about what to eat for dinner.

If only I can enjoy the jarring sounds of street constructions as wistfully as I listen to the vague sounds of crashing waves, I am sure my temperament shall be greatly improved.

Friends, let us imagine the benefits that are so enormous, deliberate with me!

Small Beer

So, he came into the pub where I was waiting, and threw his bag onto the sit beside me.
"Sup?" said I.
"Sup?" said he, as he put his elbow onto the table and his forehead into his hand.
I lifted my eyebrows and stuck out my lower lip, I paused, and I nodded.
With his other hand, he took out his cigarettes and lighter from his pocket. With his face still in one hand, he put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it and then with the exhale, loosened the frown his one hand held in place just slightly just in case something cracked or fell apart completely.
I lifted my eyebrows, and stuck out my lower lip, paused, and nodded.
I reached for my beer and took a sip.

With another drag, he lifted his face from his palm.
"I'm not in the mood to talk tonight, sorry, you talk, i'll listen," said he.

A girl came to behind him and "erm, hello sir, what can I get for you, sir?", said she.
"A small beer," said he.
I looked a bit to my left side and then back at them and lifted, stuck, paused, nodded.

Inhale. Exhale.

"Ahem. Today... is a damn hot day man. It was just... so... damn... bloody... hot... man," said I.
Without undoing what's left of his frown, he lifted his eyebrows, stuck his lower lip out, paused, and nodded his head.

(Untitled)

"Hey, hey! Where you going in such a hurry?
Take it easy girl, tell me a story."

the cupboard said to me

The cupboard was left unclosed and i don't understand why that always bothers me but it does and i don't understand why i always leave it open the first place but i do and will have to go ahead and shut it much later when i bother.

Today must be a special day for the cupboard to finally speak up though we did not converse at all on the left open or close issue and now i am a bit awkward about going to close it now that it spoke finally.

What the cupboard said to me?
Do you want to know what the cupboard said to me?
or will it be too imposing to just ask those questions and give you the answer.

Well if you want to know, you can read on, if not, go about your own business that you were going to go about if i had ended this writing here.

The cupboard said to me,
hello, the poster you stuck on my inside of bart simpson is going to fall off.

and I said,
oh okay. thanks.
and promptly tried to fix bart back to his place.

and the cupboard replied,
sure, no problem.

that's all.
do you like the story better that you had a choice?

(sneak)

想你 12

今天 我记得想你了。
可能 明天 我会忘记，
可是 今天 我记得想你了，
你知道了吗？

Sometimes, I rest my forehead

Sometimes, I rest my forehead against my open palms to hold in the noise inside my mind from ripping my skull apart it is getting harder and harder i bite my teeth tightly to be stronger and stronger i want to cry to let out some tension some strain but my tear system isn't working i imagine i slit open my face to find out what's wrong i start from my forehead because the flesh is quite thin should be easy but i realise it's mad i'm going crazy so i suddenly realise i suddenly wish for someone to do it for me!

I suddenly wish for somebody to slice open my back neatly and gently remove my spine. It will be great to start from the neck somewhere below my brain just at the top of my neck and just stab a clean knife on the right side of the bones we must try to locate first of course. Stab! Then remove the knife, then stab! into the left side. careful the knife not to come out from infront or it won't be as pretty as if it didn't.
Debone me!
Stab! Swish. Slice. Slice. Swish!

Oh. I suddenly want to scratch myself hard, to tear open my skin. It will feel nice to do it myself on the hand it is not so mad i will pretend. I will pretend I have a mosquito bite on the back of my hand. I will scratch with my nails. I will scratch my left hand with my right hand, and tear open my skin. bloody messy tear.

Oh. I suddenly want to slit neat lines down the flesh of my fingers on the back of my hand and I can have my bones crawl out bloodily. The somebody who defleshed my spine can deflesh my other hand.

I suddenly feel trapped within myself, I want to come out.
I've tried screaming, and it doesn't work at all.
Deflesh all of me! I want to come out. I want to come out.
Lay my skeleton in a field under the hot sun or toast me in a giant microwave oven.
So that my brains and everything beneath the bones will die and melt or explode and I will forget everything there is to remember.

I am sure I will be free.
I am sure I will be free.

想你 11

我可以对你说一百件事情，
一百件也许你会想知道 或对你有关的事情，
可是我真的不想
把一切说得太明白。

这一百件事情像树上的最后一百片叶子，
随时间而枯，
随轻风而落。

清风吹时，
树枝静静摇摆，
树上的剩叶 一片 一片
悄悄坠落，
地上的落叶发出“沙沙”声。。。

把一切说得太明白，
那就连枯枝落叶也没有得有了。

我们之间
就会多一百些单调，
就会少一百些想你的空间。