1. Maybe one day, there'll be so much writing and so much information that they'll pass laws to ban everything that is not concise.
2. Long sentences with no real content will be banned.
3. Conjunctions that could be better communicated by body language will be banned from spoken speech.
4&5. Emoticons must be used to communicate emotions instead of using emotive words like "frustrated" or "melancholic" or "elated". One must use a .gif to communicate the feeling of elation.
6. Also, emoticons must only be portrayed with ":" and not "=", as in, ":)" and not "=(".
7. All emoticons will be accompanied by a number, to denote the intensity of the sentiment to avoid ambiguity. The number measures upon 10. e.g., ">:( 2" may mean, "I'm quite pissed", or ">:( 10" to mean "I'm so pissing angry I'm going to piss in my pants and then his/your pants... And then threaten to kill everyone/myself."
8. Some smart asses will put ">:( 100" to try to indicate that their sentiments are so intense, that they're off the scale. They will be fined. Their abuse will cause inflation to the EM (emoticon measure) and mess up interpretations causing EM to be ambiguous like the emoticon itself.
9. In fact, they'll impose a fine for saying something ambiguous.
?. Then again, maybe they won't because governments rely too much on being ambiguous.
9. Maybe they'll impose a tax - an ambiguous tax that'll be ambiguous about what it is taxing so that governments will be ambiguously exempted!
10. Also, they will ban bad paragraphing in most public places and increase insurance requirements should one decide to allow bad paragraphing for up to 20% of the unofficial documents. That segment will be labelled "bad paragraphers' corner".
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