R.A.P. (Rants with Ants in Pants) 1 - I need a new alarm clock

I need a new alarm clock, but you cannot give it to me cos it's so suay to give me clock they say, so I need to buy a new alarm clock.
I need a new alarm clock because now, I cannot wake up in the morning in time because the alarm clock i have now is not strong enough, it's like japanese coffee, too weak, no kick, and then at night i don't have enough sleep becuase i don't like to sleep early, then like i get so frustrated because i cannot finish my work, then i know that i cannot wake up early tomororw to do because my alarm clock now is too no kick and then i get so frustrated and i have no time and no mood and when i got no mood i don't want to work but i just want to sleep and then i cannot sleep becuase i cannot finish my work and i dont' sleep becuase i can't finish my work the ni cannot wake up tomorrow because my no kcik clock cannot wake me up and i ge tso pissed off like that being so trapped in this stupidity and lack of sleep meanscannot drive emans waste time, means waste everythin meands feel stupid and means get misundertstood means so blur and so impossible.
I NEED A NEW ALARM CLOCK. I DON'T EVEN LIKE TO WAKE UP EARLY. I DON'T EVEN LIKE TO SLEEP EARLY. I DON'T EVEN LIKE IT. but i need a new alarm clock. and i need the money to buy it. which i don't have. so i want to go crazy again. because it's a nest of things i don't want to do. because it's so stupid.

If I were a snail, I could just sleep and wake up in my slimey house to eat on anything green and leave a trail of shit without getting out of the house you know, and sleep whenever i want to and eat and sleep and so on, mate occasionally, or whatever is it that i would do, eggs or whatever, and die from falling off a tree or drinking too much coffee or whatever.
If I were a snail, I would not need a new alarm clock. I don't even like snails.

I NEED A NEW ALARM CLOCK because I am not a snail.