I hope I won't have a stomachache

I have a bad cough. Today, I coughed so hard that I threw up. After throwing up a lot of vomit of spit and things I ate, I resumed coughing badly.

Suddenly, my heart and bits of my lungs flew out of my throat.

"Plop!" my heart went on the table, and, "Plop. Plop. Plip," the bits of my lungs went on the table and floor. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before this. Imagine my shock! After getting over being grossed out, I worried about the mess I made.

I noticed that they were gross and dirty, with bits of fats and some tissue things, or whatever that stuck around. So, I plucked my courage up and picked up my heart and lungs bits. I proceeded to wash them. There were some green stains and black spots. I used the kitchen sink sponge to help get rid of the stains. I was rather grossed out because I never liked to deal with raw slabs of meat. Some bits of lungs slipped into the sink and are lost to me forever.

After washing, I thought, if I tried to force swallow my heart back I would gag and die. Yet, I was compelled to put my heart back into my body. So, I decided to cook it after marinating with oyster and dark soya sauce, and finally, I ate it after dicing it up with a fork and butter knife. The butter knife was the closest thing I could find to a knife and was rather blunt and unenjoyable to eat with. Now, my heart is in my stomach as I am writing this, along with bits of my lungs, and soon, I will pass it out of my body, as shit.

I will have no heart, and incomplete lungs. I refuse to eat my shit. Although, I suppose, my heart is nourishing my body, and metaphorically, I will have my heart with me, in spirit...somewhat.

Now, I have to go and clean up the table of the blotches of heart stains my heart made. It's a little bit gross, but if I leave it until tomorrow, the blood stains may become impossible to remove.

If I have a stomachache now, my heart may hurt.