I have a bad cough. Today, I coughed so hard that I threw up. After throwing up a lot of vomit of spit and things I ate, I resumed coughing badly.
Suddenly, my heart and bits of my lungs flew out of my throat.
"Plop!" my heart went on the table, and, "Plop. Plop. Plip," the bits of my lungs went on the table and floor. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before this. Imagine my shock! After getting over being grossed out, I worried about the mess I made.
I noticed that they were gross and dirty, with bits of fats and some tissue things, or whatever that stuck around. So, I plucked my courage up and picked up my heart and lungs bits. I proceeded to wash them. There were some green stains and black spots. I used the kitchen sink sponge to help get rid of the stains. I was rather grossed out because I never liked to deal with raw slabs of meat. Some bits of lungs slipped into the sink and are lost to me forever.
After washing, I thought, if I tried to force swallow my heart back I would gag and die. Yet, I was compelled to put my heart back into my body. So, I decided to cook it after marinating with oyster and dark soya sauce, and finally, I ate it after dicing it up with a fork and butter knife. The butter knife was the closest thing I could find to a knife and was rather blunt and unenjoyable to eat with. Now, my heart is in my stomach as I am writing this, along with bits of my lungs, and soon, I will pass it out of my body, as shit.
I will have no heart, and incomplete lungs. I refuse to eat my shit. Although, I suppose, my heart is nourishing my body, and metaphorically, I will have my heart with me, in spirit...somewhat.
Now, I have to go and clean up the table of the blotches of heart stains my heart made. It's a little bit gross, but if I leave it until tomorrow, the blood stains may become impossible to remove.
If I have a stomachache now, my heart may hurt.
Wednesday, 16 May 2007
Monday, 14 May 2007
Ain't no sunshine
[Where have you been, where are you going? wait a while and tell me please before you leave... So at least I have some stuff to wonder, where you may be eating for dinner, what you may eat for breakfast... You are so cruel to steal yourself away from me. There is only darkness that awaits me, darkness everyday. Will you leave everyday?]
One day Snow White was ugly. It is a bit difficult to imagine, when all the stories say that she's quite the beautiful thing to look at. What happened on the day she turned ugly was that Snow White felt too free, so free was she, that she decided to go to laugh at a fish.
"Ha! Ha!" Laughed Snow White, as heartily as she could as she pointed at a fish swimming about in a lake, "Ha! You fish! Ha! Ha!"
This fish did not turn out to be a wizard or elf, or a prince, who was feeling too free such that he disguised himself as a fish; instead, this fish was just another fish, who happened to be very vain about its appearances, and happened to understand human's language, as some fish do. Upon hearing the unprovoked Snow White laughing at itself, its insecurities about being a fish drove it to commit suicide by diving on the river bank.
Snow White, upon witnessing this crazy fish, while still feeling too free, decided to take it home to eat.
"Sashimi!" She thought excitedly, and went to buy wasabi from the japanese guy who grew wasabi and taught people how to eat sashimi and generally profitted quite well from that... but anyway, Snow White got her wasabi and fish and went home to prepare the fish.
Briefly she wondered if the fish was poisonous, for it is always strange for fish to kill itself. Perhaps Snow White was feeling guilty about laughing at the fish for no apparent reason, but the guilt did not last anyway, as she soon raise her sumitomo sushi stainless steel knife to slice the over-sensitive fish.
Alas! Snow White had slippery hands, and the fish slipped, and the knife also slipped, and fell, and in the mad panic, the knife sliced off Snow White's nose, and half a cheek, and the fish was chopped into three uneven pieces.
From that day onwards, Snow White was ugly and lived as happily as she could be being ugly ever after. The fish was eventually thrown away.
One day Snow White was ugly. It is a bit difficult to imagine, when all the stories say that she's quite the beautiful thing to look at. What happened on the day she turned ugly was that Snow White felt too free, so free was she, that she decided to go to laugh at a fish.
"Ha! Ha!" Laughed Snow White, as heartily as she could as she pointed at a fish swimming about in a lake, "Ha! You fish! Ha! Ha!"
This fish did not turn out to be a wizard or elf, or a prince, who was feeling too free such that he disguised himself as a fish; instead, this fish was just another fish, who happened to be very vain about its appearances, and happened to understand human's language, as some fish do. Upon hearing the unprovoked Snow White laughing at itself, its insecurities about being a fish drove it to commit suicide by diving on the river bank.
Snow White, upon witnessing this crazy fish, while still feeling too free, decided to take it home to eat.
"Sashimi!" She thought excitedly, and went to buy wasabi from the japanese guy who grew wasabi and taught people how to eat sashimi and generally profitted quite well from that... but anyway, Snow White got her wasabi and fish and went home to prepare the fish.
Briefly she wondered if the fish was poisonous, for it is always strange for fish to kill itself. Perhaps Snow White was feeling guilty about laughing at the fish for no apparent reason, but the guilt did not last anyway, as she soon raise her sumitomo sushi stainless steel knife to slice the over-sensitive fish.
Alas! Snow White had slippery hands, and the fish slipped, and the knife also slipped, and fell, and in the mad panic, the knife sliced off Snow White's nose, and half a cheek, and the fish was chopped into three uneven pieces.
From that day onwards, Snow White was ugly and lived as happily as she could be being ugly ever after. The fish was eventually thrown away.
Tuesday, 8 May 2007
All the people invent
Trit trot, goes the billy goat gruff across the bridge across the troll who doesn't care to eat the billy goat anymore because he has the black sheep and three bags full of wool stuck between his teeth! There are hazards to swallowing first class black wool, namely, one will have black wool's stools. The dentist will also wonder why the teeth will be strange. Frankly it tastes bad because the black sheep don't bathe or shave in a long time, in a clean way. We the racist black deep sheep hater but no it's not true we just fear the dark the night is dark the eclipse of the sun is dark, the shadows of our skin is dark it is dark and we are afraid of the unknown so don't get personal please it's wasting my time my life, are you sick of bearing the stench of unbearable lightness of being? Albert! Albert! are you hearing me? Where is the camel that will be the ship across the desert sands? Where will you bring me? my moose, my caravan!? Nobody, nowhere, the oasis and the lack of strong winds to reclaim the lost grounds. The existence is elsewhere. Albert! Albert! are you hearing my cries? Goodbye, goddesses, and profound injustice. Are you crazy? do you dare to ask this are you crazy? I am not. I am as sane as a madman! Albert! ALBERT! what are you talking about? I demand that you tell me now! Stop playing around the apple tree. No, the apple is either red nor green, it will be brown when it falls to the ground. In fact, let it be purple. or orange. So that the orange will be confused and feel all sensitive and cry. Why isn't the orange called the sun? I wonder if the sun is orange, or fire is really red or green. Does it matter? Albert doesn't want to tell me the answer, or ignore me completely. I think albert takes a sick fancy to look at me, and not answer me. I think it is annoying but it also drives me to look at the edge of my spectacles to only see the rims, blurred, and what's beyond it, blurred, and what's within it, inconsequential! ah! what a powerful word! INCONSEQUENTIAL! deserved to be bold.
Trit trot, goes the lady in red across the london bridge across the river where great fish live and will never be caught before they die at the hands of nobody! There must be a mermaid who is jealous of the trit trotting lady in red and will plot the murder of the one with legs maybe eating the human legs will let the mermaid grow her own legs so that she can trit trot across the london bridge too. so ghastly the idea. so plausible too! maybe so close to being true and so horrible and so true that nobody dares to write it out or suggest it for fear of being true. so the mermaid must eat the legs raw because cannot cook underwater anyway, maybe like sushi wrap in rice dumpling and sea weed, wet sea weed. the nails at the toes must be quite hard to chew. the bones the mermaid will use to stab herself in her dreaded tail. maybe her scales are pink, or orange like the clown fish, like the fruit, like the sunset. but will be red with the blood then again maybe blue maybe mermaids have blue blood or like a colour we never can imagine only mermaids have for their blood's colour. maybe it's brown. maybe it's brown like the colour of sand. maybe it's sand, they have sand instead of blood, it'll be refreshing, a different idea. but of course it will still hurt when the bones of the lady in red are stabbed into the tail of whatever colour. maybe somebody will cry, or somebody will be jealous. maybe there'll be an explosion, and all the starfish around will die. PLOMB! dead starfish galore. and i think the clown fish should die too. but clown fish are not found everywhere. so maybe the tuna fish. but we're talking about the london bridge no? fresh water is it? I apologise! i did not make sense. no starfish, no clown fish, no tuna i think. Maybe some... goldfish. or guppy. or prawns. i think there are prawns everywhere. an explosion of sand. the stomach of the mermaid will burst forth with new legs. Small at first, and expand later. to legs hopefully of different sizes. but stupid mermaid didn't eat the lungs. so still have gills at the side of the neck. so too bad. walk around naked in the dirty river bed ostracised for life! no eggs to lay, no babies, eventually die and all that drama for nothing! for NOTHING! poor things.
Trit trot.
you must think that i'm a little crazier than you thought, but i'm not. I'm the same. as you. except that i have a cold. and i have time to type and you have time to read!
ALBERT! albert! will you save me one day? PLOMB! INCONSEQUENTIAL NOTHING!
(sneak.)
Trit trot, goes the lady in red across the london bridge across the river where great fish live and will never be caught before they die at the hands of nobody! There must be a mermaid who is jealous of the trit trotting lady in red and will plot the murder of the one with legs maybe eating the human legs will let the mermaid grow her own legs so that she can trit trot across the london bridge too. so ghastly the idea. so plausible too! maybe so close to being true and so horrible and so true that nobody dares to write it out or suggest it for fear of being true. so the mermaid must eat the legs raw because cannot cook underwater anyway, maybe like sushi wrap in rice dumpling and sea weed, wet sea weed. the nails at the toes must be quite hard to chew. the bones the mermaid will use to stab herself in her dreaded tail. maybe her scales are pink, or orange like the clown fish, like the fruit, like the sunset. but will be red with the blood then again maybe blue maybe mermaids have blue blood or like a colour we never can imagine only mermaids have for their blood's colour. maybe it's brown. maybe it's brown like the colour of sand. maybe it's sand, they have sand instead of blood, it'll be refreshing, a different idea. but of course it will still hurt when the bones of the lady in red are stabbed into the tail of whatever colour. maybe somebody will cry, or somebody will be jealous. maybe there'll be an explosion, and all the starfish around will die. PLOMB! dead starfish galore. and i think the clown fish should die too. but clown fish are not found everywhere. so maybe the tuna fish. but we're talking about the london bridge no? fresh water is it? I apologise! i did not make sense. no starfish, no clown fish, no tuna i think. Maybe some... goldfish. or guppy. or prawns. i think there are prawns everywhere. an explosion of sand. the stomach of the mermaid will burst forth with new legs. Small at first, and expand later. to legs hopefully of different sizes. but stupid mermaid didn't eat the lungs. so still have gills at the side of the neck. so too bad. walk around naked in the dirty river bed ostracised for life! no eggs to lay, no babies, eventually die and all that drama for nothing! for NOTHING! poor things.
Trit trot.
you must think that i'm a little crazier than you thought, but i'm not. I'm the same. as you. except that i have a cold. and i have time to type and you have time to read!
ALBERT! albert! will you save me one day? PLOMB! INCONSEQUENTIAL NOTHING!
(sneak.)
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
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