R.A.P. 2.2 - dead millipedes

"i bet you think i am shitting you but i'm not shitting you...
I AM GOING TO HELL because I am not a millipede."

R.A.P. 2 - The Song for Dead Millipedes

I kill so many millipedes, it's the worst. I probably killed more millipedes this morning than all the millipedes you've seen in your life plus together. i bet you think that i'm shitting you but i'm not shitting you cos it's so gross to walk here and there and see something brown and red that's floating along the floor and i bet you bet that it's quite funny, but it's not funny at all cos they are soooo ggggrrrooossssss. like blind little stubs and somemore so small that you have to look quite closely, then it's like shit, actually like birdshit that's brown and red, and can see their little legs moving in like little waves things that sends a damn of disgust down my spine like you know spiders only have eight legs and they are already so gross and imagine like this damn millipedes are MILLI - PEDES and it's just like too many too many....they are like little bits of shits on little legs joined together by how too many legs move together my goodness and the WORST is that they move quite fast but millipedes are damn gross lar, they're in a rush to don't know where also, its' the worst the worst the worst.......... so i have to kill them, because they are so gross and they move too fast. i can't ignore them, i have to chop them cos its' the easiest way to kill them and i seriously don't wnat to chop them cos i have to go near them, I really don't wnat to kill them cos like they got brown brown juice lor please it's the worrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssttt, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KILL THEM but it's the fastest way to kill them and i even more seriously rather them be dead than alive and i have to kill them. and so I am going to hell, because I kill so many millipedes. it's one of the worst reasons to go to hell for. but i can't not kill them. i cannot. I really cannot. I really RATHER NOT HAVE TO KILL THEM, but I really cannot because there are so many of them.

If there aren't so many of them I don't have to kill so many of them.
If there aren't so many of them I won't have to go to hell.

NOW, if I were a millipede, i won't have to kill so many of them, because i shouldn't be so grossed out and i can probably speak whatever it is that millipedes speak and tell them to get out of my face so taht i dont' have to be so grossed out and i don't have to to kill so many of them then i may not so definitely go to hell.

I AM GOING TO HELL because I am not a millipede.

September 17 2005 - 1

17 September 2005
2.20 am
Saturday Morning

Beach

When was the last time we went to the beach together?

(sneak.)

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 8

If I can go back in time, I cannot do anything differently.

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 5

Do you remember what you said to me before? Things that I let hurt me. Things that I let touch me. I do not know what it was all about. It happened and past me by. You must be sleeping by now. It is 2.49 am. Can you imagine that I am thinking about you? Maybe we know less than we think. There should be more to life than we obsess ourselves with.

面线、红鸡蛋

一年一次的一碗面线加上两个红鸡蛋让我感到一年的最温暖。

(sneak.)

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 3

I seem to remember a lot of things, you know. When I was a child, I loved rainy nights, because it will feel so cool and sleeping will be so comfortable and it will make me happy. When I was younger than now, I loved rainy nights, even though I would have to upturn window panes. Rainy nights have always been inspiring to me.On rainy nights, everything is muffled by the rain and everything is beyond the rain, like a curtain drawn, like I am hiding behind a waterfall, like nobody can find me.On rainy nights, everything is quiet, everything is silenced, and I am by myself.

Growing up

Growing up sucks.

17 September 2005 - Paragraph 6

What is it that we are looking for?